Big city dreams for a small-city boy

{You can't spell Saturday without turd...}
31 May 2003 @ 11:36 PM

BGM: "Salvation" by the Cranberries
Wanting: something to do!
Wearing:

Is it sad to be at a computer and be able to update on a Saturday night? I think so... I need to get out and do something to write about.

~A

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{We're sorry, the call to your ever-busy son cannot be completed at this time}
31 May 2003 @ 4:49 PM

BGM: "How Soon is Now" by the Smiths
Wanting: to talk to my Mommy!
Wearing:

Arrgh! So tomorrow is Mom's birthday, and I only got paid yesterday. I planned to send her a money order and a birthday card with a warm and gushy letter reminding her that I love her. to make matters ever more difficult (seeing as them being just diffcult doesn't seem to cut it in my world), she tried calling me twice this afternoon. The first time was while I was doing overtime at work (which, admittedly I could do nothing about). Next, she tried calling me two hours later while shopping at K-Mart (buying white sale items and t-shirts for myself makes me feel pretty).

Gah! I'm so, so sorry Mom. I love you endlessly.

~A

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{Memorial Day Triple-Play: Tiers 2 and 3: Ruben and Shaunda}
30 May 2003 @ 7:00 PM

BGM: "Intuition" by Jewel
Wanting: more days like this
Wearing:

Once Marc got cleaned up (who, because of a lack of informing by Dee, was wearing his good clothes when he got sprung on), we then went ahead and made plans on how to get both Ruben and Shaunda at the same time. After lots of deliberation (none of it obvious of course) and an instance of drunk-off-his-ass Ruben nearly spilling the beans as far as Shaunda's plot goes, we made up a game in which some random person had to sit in a chair blindfolded while the rest of the group went around in a circle to music (a la musical chairs), anyway, when the song stopped, the people had to stop and the person that was standing in front of the person in the chair had to - without speaking - get the person to guess who he or she was. When the game started off, we had put everyone's name on a card and put them in Fox's hat. We wanted to make it so that Ruben would get drawn first (for obvious time-saving reasons). Well we actually did, though Ruben - who was already visibly drunk, yet quite astute - cried fowl play and said that we drew his name on purpose. So, for the sake of fairness and so's not to give anything away, we drew another name. Unfortunately, this time it was mine. So I find myself sitting in the seat, blindfolded and a group of people circling me, trying to be as noiseless as possible, all to the sounds of a Dixie Chicks album. When the music stopped (thank goodness), Joe was in front of me. I obviously didn't know that it was him, but to get me to guess it was him, he took my hand and put it on his crotch area. Now, Joe's a big guy (in size, not in *ahem* THAT way), so I felt a large lump underneath his jeans and immediately knew it was him. Being the inordinately large suspense queen that I am, I decided to play it to the bone and give two fake guesses before guessing correctly (the rules of our game said that you were given three chances to guess, though we didn't come up with a consequence for what would happen if we didn't, but oh well). So, now that I had guessed Joe, he had to sit in the seat as we started the music back up and continued the circle. Marc was in charge of the music and timed it so that Ruben ended up in front of Joe when it stopped. Ruben is not the quietest person in the world, so when we stopped, he was in the middle of talking and then quickly tried to shut up, but failed when he kept forcing himself not to laugh. As one could've imagined, Joe guessed it was Ruben and now it was his turn in the hot seat.

Now came the tough part, all of us who were in on this plan (which WAS all of us), had to break out the rope and stuff all while still keeping up the pretense of playing the game and walking around in a circle, which I'll have you know is a lot more difficult that it sounds. Ruben, who apparently seems to have an innate sense of distrust, got very suspicious and noticed that we weren't really keeping to the circle. It was then that we decided to just spring into action and tie him up quickly. This was met with some heavy resistance. Ruben is also a big guy, a self-proclaimed "cub" he can take out row of linebackers, and I don't mean to dinner. Anyway, once we got his rebellious ass down on to the chair, we broke out the make-up. Shaunda, being the most feminitely-inclined of the bio-females, applied the gaudy make-up. Ruben looked like such a pretty Southern belle... okay, so maybe he looked more like Natalie from the Dixie Chicks, but it was still cool.

Here comes yet another tough part, as Shaunda was finishing applying make-up to Ruben, I forget who it was, but he/she then rushed Shaunda and tried to sit her down to another convieniently-placed chair right next to Rube's. The blinding irony of it is that she was actually tougher to wrestle down than Ruben, and she's like only about 100lbs. After having accomplished that feat, we began to put some make-up on her too. What Ruben and the rest of us had decided was to dress up Shaunda like a cheap, femmy ho (complete with platinum blonde wig) and take her down to a Mormon church (because above all things, Shaunda abhors religion, especially Mormonism).

The whole time we were working them over, Ruben kept drinking. Mind you, he was already being belligerent and obnoxious when we first started the forced makeover, now he was just too much to take. As for what embarrassing public display we'd force him to, we hadn't settled on yet, but the idea of taking him down to Miracle Mile was one of the keepers (so he can give the regular hos there a run for their BJ-money).

But anyway, once we accomplished the impossible and got both Shaunda and Ruben's make-up on, it came time to move out. There were 10 of us all together and we would only be taking two cars; Dee's and mine. I had had a very nicely-laced alcoholic piña colada earlier and I would be driving my own car. I wasn't worried about it, but if I were to get pulled over (something that I seem to run the risk of doing almost on a daily basis nowadays, but that's another story), I would probably get tested and come up positive for alcohol. I chanced it anyway, chances are that it wouldn't be noticeable at all, seeing as I had had that drink about an hour prior. Ruben on the other hand was spinning out of control. In sobered conditions, he is the best person to hang around (albiet a little loud). Even in small amounts of drinking he can be okay. It's when he's guzzled enough alcohol to make a stereotypical French and/or Irishman die of liver failure that he becomes a pill.

So, with the two hostages both riding in Dee's car and me taking Fox, Matt, Ben and Gloria, we finally got this show on the road. It was approximately midnight and I had to be to work at 8:00 the next morning, so it would be interesting to see how the rest of the night would play out and how long it would take. The others were still piling into Dee's car while I decided to get our crew moving. First, I had to go return some tapes to the video store before they closed, from there our first destination was to this Mormon chuch on Ft. Lowell.

As we're making our way, we get a call from Joe saying that he can't find the church. Ruben had looked it up and had assured us that it was there. Just in case though, Fox knew of another one south on Rosemont. Joe and them were already going before we even got a chance to meet back up with them ourselves. I was already too close by to have to turn around and have to go way back down south and meet them up. I got onto Ft. Lowell and just drove. Right before I got to Alvernon, I saw it immediately! I was so mad that the rest of them didn't give it much of a chance. So we called them up and told them to get their asses back over here ASAP.

I was glad that Ruben didn't come with us. According to everyone in Dee's car, he was being totally obnoxious and would not get off his phone. Marc had seemed to have had just about enough of him and quite frankly, I couldn't blame him.

Anyway, though Shaunda was being a really good sport about kidnapping her and taking her to a Mormon church, she really wasn't reacting to it like I had hoped. I mean, you can't force a reaction out of someone, but you know, a little SOMETHING would have been nice. Well, we got a pic of Shaun standing in front of the big "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" sign and decided to go. Ruben wasn't getting any better. As we made our way back to our respective cars, Marc decided to dump him on us, as I'm sure he had had enough of him. We half-considered just going home, but instead we decided to stick it out and get Ruben's part done.

Our final destination of the night would be to Miracle Mile. By that time, we were all just looking for an excuse to justify killing Ruben. He was being way too noisy, way too hyper and just plain annoying. It took us forever to get there too. Despite the fact that he couldn't be able to tell me what his last five boyfriends were if you were to prod him, he could still tell that we weren't going in the direction of Marc and Dee's apartment. Anyway, after pretending like we didn't know what the hell he was talking about (and having to get to MM through small backstreets), we finally arrived. We decided to take him to the Tropicana (once a really old and run-down hotel now a sleazy "bookstore" in the same really old and run-down hotel building).

Jeez, this is taking a lot longer than I had hoped, I'll just wrap it up, there's nothing more really...

So, Ruben goes into the Tropicana calling for sanctuary and just being annoying. The rest of us decide that it would be cool to play a trick on him and move our cars to one of the other cheap hotels right next door to make him think that we ditched him. He doesn't resurface. We call it quits and send in Fox and Shaunda to get him. They come out minutes later chasing a screaming, flailing Ruben into the street. He's wearing a blonde wig and is pretending like he's being chased by rabid wolves. He then proceeds to act the part of a hooker and calls out to every passing vehicle. It was bad.

When we had had enough, we finally went back to Marc and Dee's. With Ruben in tow again, it would prove to be another trying ordeal as he screamed obscenities at the cars next to mine.

So the plan didn't go over nearly as well as we had originally hoped, but it was still an interesting night. I didn't end up getting to sleep until 2:30. Ruben is now gone until August, and contrary to what I said about his behavior, I am going to miss him. I wonder how we'll manage as far as fun, random stuff goes.

~A

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{Memorial Day Triple-Play: Tier 1 Marc's Birthday}
29 May 2003 @ 7:46 AM

BGM: "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescance
Wanting: more days like this
Wearing:

Okay, this is taking way too long to write, I'll just post the first part then when I get around to finishing the next part, I'll post that.

Here goes, part one of the Memorial Day Triple-Play: Tier 1 Marc's Birthday.

I've been suffering from a severe lack of sleep (the story of my life) but heavens to mergatroid, was this past Memorial Day something to remember...

So, here's a little background een-fo-may-shun. Monda was Marc's 21st birthday. In about two weeks, it'll be Shaunda's birthday. As of the time of this entry, Ruben should be gone on his way to San Diego for three months. Anyway, being that Ruben is the mastress of infamously unforgettable birthdays, we decided to do a two-fer on Marc and Shaunda since he wouldn't be here for the latter's birthday. Well, unbeknownst to him, the rest of us would be pullling the proverbial poly-cotton blend over his eyes. See, we wanted to give Rube thanks for always being such a cool friend to us and maybe even send him off with something that'll make him miss us when he's stranded there in the vast, desolate, uninhabitable wastelands of Southern California.

I should probably make something else clear, just who exactly was involved in this whole ordeal. First, of course, there's moi (without whom none of this would be possible). Then there's Fox, Ruben, Shaunda, Gloria, Marc, Dee, Ruben's brother Ben, and Joe (a drag king and a friend of Marc and Dee's). So, as far as the evil triple-tiered plot, the tune goes something like this:

Operation Marc involved everyone except him of course. But ever since the infamous incidents that happened for Adam's, Dee's and my birthdays, it was common knowledge to our core group that doing the stuff that we do to each other for our birthdays isn't as big of a crime as NOT doing anything outlandish in celebration. So, needless to say, Marc knew that somehow by the end of the night he'd either end up with his clothes stained, naked in the woods or in jail (if not all three). Again, needless to say, we would have to do some heavy-duty creativity on this one. So on Monday night after work (yes, I had to work on Memorial Day, but I was let out early and I was paid double-time, so it was all good), I quickly head home and meet up with Ruben, Gloria, Ben, Fox, Matt and Shaunda. From there we split up - Ruben and Ben go back to Ruben's place and we go to Albertson's and buy various substances that we have grandly decided to pour all over Marc (sadly it was the best we could come up with). Whatever, anyway, after a long and drawn-out instance of time-consumption inside the store, we come out packing; flour, green chocolate syrup (featuring the INCREDIBLE HULK), some strawberry syrup, cherries, powder chocolate, yogurt, sprinkles, frozen pancakes, a disposable camera and film (to record this for ransom -- I mean, posterity *evil smile*).

Outside, we start formulating a plan on how to get Ruben. His plots are always so creative (or at least very involved), so we had to see if we could try and outdo him. Anyway, Shaunda had suggested that since Ruben's a big o' teen/slasher movie buff, we should do some Jawbreaker-style thing to him and get him a titular fatal hard candy. So we sent her and Gloria back into the store to do just that. What we really wanted to accomplish by getting rid of her for was so that we could talk about ways to get her. Sadly, we didn't so we had to make do with that and decided that it was getting really late and that we should head over to Ruben's because we had to then head over to Marc and Dee's apartment. Well, Shaunda was set on finding a jawbreaker, so we decided to let her and Gloria take care of that, while the rest of us head over to Ruben's all the while thinking of the appropriate way to get Shaunda and Ruben.

This is kinda complicated, there are three people that are going to "get it" on the same night, everyone's in on at least one plan to get the others. For instance, Marc, though unaware of his own plot (obviously), is in on Ruben's and Shaunda's. Ruben, knows about Marc and Shaunda, but is unaware of his own (duh). Shaunda knows about Marc and Ruben, but is unaware of her own (easy). There, I just had to make that perfectly clear, because quite frankly, I was confusing myself typing about it (and I was there!).

Once meeting at Rube's, we split off into two groups; Ruben, Gloria and Shaunda in one car, and Matt, Fox, Ben and I in another. On the way to Marc and Dee's, we fill Ben in on Ruben's plot. Anyway, we arrive a full 45 minutes later than we had originally anticipated, with Marc already tied up and blindfolded. So, we go in and proceed to dump all the crap that we had bought on him, making him the world's queerest sundae. Pictures were taken, fun was had, the futon bed that they have in their living room as a couch and the carpet under it possibly permanently stained.

Well, that's all I got on Marc, I'll try and get the last part up as soon as I can.

~A

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{-}
26 May 2003 @ 10:07 AM

BGM: none
Wanting: durr...
Wearing:

Ack! I just realized why I'm "not getting any new visits" here! When I was doing the html overhaul, I forgot to put in my gold stats tracker code! Durr... I feel special.

I guess now I can stop feeling like no one loves me ^_^

~A

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{RIP Prairie dog}
26 May 2003 @ 1:41 AM

BGM: "Amsterdam" by Coldplay
Wanting: repentance for the deceased
Wearing:

Geez... no new visits for like two days. I know I don't keep this diary for the sake of others, but when not even regulars come to the site and see if I'm alive, that's just harsh. Whatever, I'm a survivor...

I'm so angry, after letting my obsession with all things Coldplay get the best of me, I registered on eBay and bid on a way-cool black 2003 concert shirt from them. I set my bid at two dollars higher and decided to wait out the clock on it, foolishly complacent in thinking that I wouldn't be outbid. Well, when I left for work on Friday afternoon, I had six hours left before bidding was done. When I got back, I thought I would be the proud new owner of such a wonderfully wonderful cool concert shirt. Only, I find out that I was outbid by two people. The thing that really has me kicking myself though, is that I could've just bought it at a slightly higher price rather than bidding like a moron. I mean, I KNOW that the person that won the shirt didn't want it nearly as bad as I did, and they probably don't care about the person they beat out to get it (me and two others). Granted, it's not like I would've if I had won it, but still. And, I also would've treasured that shirt like my firstborn. I would've worn it proudly, I would've washed it in its own separate load and I would've bought a dry-cleaning bag and hang it in my closet when it wasn't in use. Will the person who won this shirt do the same thing? I doubt it. Sigh... still it's not a very good first impression that eBay has made on me.

Oh, yesterday (Saturday), I took my brother out to dinner to celebrate his graduation. On the way over to meet him, I ran over a prairie dog on Golf Links. I only took my attention off the road for like a second to change the radio station and then I see them and it's too late to do anything and before I know it, I can feel the bump under my car. It was so horrid! I felt like complete and utter shite afterward. I almost cried...


What anime hue are you?


Cutey


Find out what bishonen you are.

~A

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{where do i start?}
i am... a dancer and a dreamer, latino, gay, a singer, a poet, an artist, a son, a brother, no one's lover, way too obsessed with sailor moon for my own good, a romantic, temporarily unemployed, and too much more to list here

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The current mood of invernal at www.imood.com

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i was always blue-green cuz we are living in a material world...
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