{And nothing else compares...}

{Sense of calm, oddly enough}
21 June 2003 @ 7:33 PM

BGM: "Not Gonna Get Us" by Tatu
Wanting: to travel abroad
Wearing:

Ahh... as I see the hauntingly beautiful glow of the fires on Mt. Lemmon, somehow I feel at ease. I know that it might seem sadistic and even cruel of me to find such solace, but I genuinely feel comforted.

Money problems just *whoosh* away, exhaustion from work and other things pulling me in different directions even other general frustrations have gotten off my back.

Speaking of work, today one of the team leads asked me if I had a passport. Hmm... not an everyday question to ask someone, is it? Well, as it turns out, everyone is being asked just in case they decide to send some of the CSRs out of the country. I think that would totally be awesome. I would just love to use that as my ticket to go and party in the UK or someother place outside of Arizona. I'm not going to hold my breath, because there's just as much of a possibility that they won't ask me as there is that they will. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I'm just going to enjoy the rest of my weekend and see where it takes me.

{Invernal is...}
20 June 2003 @ 9:10 PM

BGM: "Got To Be Real" by Cheryl Lynn
Wanting: I dunno
Wearing:

Wow, I suck (apparently in a non-sexual manner):
invernal
Magic Number 17
Job Despot
Personality Unfulfilled Dreamer
Temperament Angry - At Everthing
Sexual Just Say No
Likely To Win A Duel With Pistols
Me - In A Word Whirlwind
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack

Aside from the color, I like this one better (this is my old D-land name):
bluelaser
Magic Number 23
Job Conservationist
Personality Rainy Day
Temperament Sweet Natured
Sexual If I Have To
Likely To Win The Respect Of My Colleagues
Me - In A Word Genius
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack

{The root of all evil}
20 June 2003 @ 1:41 PM

BGM: "Dove" by Moony
Wanting: not money!!!
Wearing:

AARGH!!! IHATETHISIHATETHISIHATETHIS!!!!

Once again, I am overdrawn at the bank. I'm in such deep shiznit that I cannot believe. Just when I thought that if I could keep my spending under control enough for me to take Mina to the shop next Friday, the bank just randomly decides to hit me up with old overdraft fees! GAH!

I guess getting a debit card was not the smartest decision I've ever made.

{In memory of...}
19 June 2003 @ 5:11 PM

BGM: "Jumper" by Third Eye Blind
Wanting: to have known Allen better
Wearing:

An older facilitator for EON (formerly QV) took his own life last night. I personally didn't know him too well, but I still knew who he was. And though I wasn't close to him, it unsettles me greatly to hear when such an event happens. Concentratinig on work was very difficult, so I decided to calm my mind by writing this:

To all those that cannot go on;
I know what you feel;
I've felt it before
To all who are tired of it all;
Please hang on...
You're worth more than you may realize
This is not the answer you seek
For though you may end your anguish,
This act creates just as much pain to those around you...
And you leave a hole in our hearts as well
To all those where even THAT isn't an option;
Your perserverance is an inspiration
Keep fighting, for we are not born to suffer
To all those that have come out from the darkness of failure;
Thank you for showing us your strength;
It is appreciated more than words can say
Finally, to those that could not bear this world any longer;
Please know that you were never unloved
Yours is a presence that will never be replaced
May your sould in this final act find the peace that it was so unjustly denied in this existence.
~In Memory of A.B.

Know also, that your suicide was not in vain.

{Random summer stuff}
18 June 2003 @ 1:36 AM

BGM: "Sweet Caroline" by I don't know who...
Wanting: Paul McCoy
Wearing:

Nothing really new to write about. Though I have been lost in thought for a good part since the last time I've updated.

Yeah, I know... me? Thinking? Pfft! But I do, and I'm actually feeling really motivated as far as money and future plans on getting as far away from Arizona as I can.

Anyway, the new position that's opened up at work handling UK calls, well, after weighing the pros and cons about it all, I've decided to go for it. Granted, it's only a dollar extra per hour, but at the end of the week, that's $40 that can be spent on some really sweet stuff. Plus, I can sleep in all day and avoid this funked up the ass Arizona summer weather and become a sorta nightowl barfly. Of course, I won't pick up on anyone, because I now have a reason to save myself. ^_~

But yeah, I'm going to have money! That is of course, if I get this position. I told one of the call center managers that I am so interested, and hopefully she'll let me have this opportunity, given especially that she's family and all. So, I'll keep my fingers crossed *Knocks on wood*!

And it is now officially summer. No, it isn't June 20-something yet, and no, no one has started roasting a Ballpark Hot Dog (well, maybe they have for all I know), but as I dove out tonight, I actually saw a fire burnin' up on good ol' Mt. Lemmon. Ahh... the days I've missed are back.

Speaking of hot, I decided to share some pics of 12 Stones hottie Paul McCoy (the guy doing all the yelling/rapping on Evanescence's "Bring Me To Life"). I'm not going to let the fact that they are essentially a Christian band and that they are signed on to Creed's record label let that ruin the hotness that is he. Mmm... Southern boys...

Mmm... Paul McCoy

Hehe! He looks so tortured and emotionally torn. I just want to hug him! (Yeah, someone's regressed to the age of five...)

*Homer drool*

{A little more well}
15 June 2003 @ 11:58 PM

BGM: "In My Place" by Coldplay
Wanting: more chocolate soymilk
Wearing:

I'm feeling a lot better today. Thanks being to the higher powers that be and some nice chocolate soymilk.

I didn't end up going to the Biz tonight. Ruben had some family drama and had to cancel. Dani said that we would be best if we went next week. I agree, I had enough to drink for one week and I've come to the realization that alcohol depresses me. Either that or expecting other stuff and having it fall through.

Either way I'm a lot happier now.

I actually am seriously taking a new position at work. Because of the massive popularity of using directory assistance in the UK, our call center here in AZ has been elected to take the overflow. That means that they're offering a 1:30 to 10:00 AM shift to handle them (given the drastic time zone difference). I'm all about handling some cool UKers because (no offense to anyone in particular), I think that as a generality, UK people are way cooler and tons more polite than Americans. But then again one can accuse me of being stereotypical by saying that. Granted, there are some really nice calls that I get (especially from NJ, astounding as that may seem), for the most part, US people are mean and UK people are sweet as fine sugar.

Speaking of sweet fine sugar, my mood's betterment came most thanks in part to a certain loverly comment I received. To whom it may concern (and you know who you are), whether you just meant is as comfort or if you're really serious, you totally made my day. You never fail to make me happy.

PS: The bio link isn't up yet, I'm still working on it. When it is, I'll let the whole world know. And it'll be swanky. It'll rock. And above all things else, it will be a good thing.

~A (Come back and sing to me)

{Are all the homos blind??}
15 June 2003 @ 3:35 AM

BGM: "American Life" by Madonna
Wanting: a man!
Wearing:

I feel depressed. I need a boyfriend. I went out to the Venture N (another gay bar) tonight and wasn't even hit on. Granted, I was there with three other friends and I guess gay men tend to not flirt if you're amongst others. But Fox (who was with me), said that we were the cutest four there. But if we're so hot, then why the hell didn't someone come over to me or at least flash me a smile. I'm way too chicken to make a move, but at the very least I would appreciate a smile. At least I was able to drown my sorrows in some Amaretto Sours, those are really tasty. Anyway, Ruben along with Dani and Nico (the other two who were with me tonight), want to take me out to the Biz Sunday night for Latino Night. I'm not going to have any expectations, because Alanis knows Latinos are probably worse than other gay men. I'll just go to dance and have fun, and if I don't get flired with, then I'll just drink myself into oblivion.