Big city dreams for a small-city boy

{Do you think I'm satisfied?}
05 July 2003 @ 2:50 PM

BGM: "Let Down" by Radiohead
Wanting: for me to have untainted happiness for once
Wearing:

Okay, this was going to be a really sunny and happy entry, seeing as I had just gotten my Coldplay shirt, my Juno internet access and my present from Miranda (a Sailor Neptune keyring), but I just read a really hurtful email that one of my "friends" just sent me and all of my feelings of happiness have just been shot.

It hurts for me to think that I have such an effect on people. I really don't like myself too much right now...

~A (As for now I'm going to hear the saddest songs and sit alone and wonder how you're making out)

.

{Bored on the 4th of July (sort of)...}
04 July 2003 @ 2:24 PM

BGM: "Hail to the Thief (entire album)" by Radiohead
Wanting: my Coldplay shirt dammit!
Wearing:

*Pouring rain, holds his beloved girlfriend who's just gotten shot in the back. Looks up angrily, shaking his fist*

DAMN YOU, SALADBAR!

*Lightning flash*

Here I am, on the freaking 4th of July, with still no Coldplay shirt and still no internet access of my own! Judging from the previous entry, one could conclude that this hasn't been that good of a week. I guess you can be right about that, I mean this week really has been unremarkable, so it might as well go all the way and say that it's bad.

But hope remains, I still have the whole weekend (sans Sunday) to have it made up and as soon as I'm done here, I will head over to Miranda's house (who's just recently returned from Australia) because she's come bearing presents and according to her, upon seeing what she has gotten me, I will come short of dying from happiness.

I guess things are looking sunnier (or should I say cheerier, cuz sunniness is something I get enough of here in AZ) already. Oh! And Alex will be here this Thursday! I can't wait! I hope that we can reclaim some of the old commeraderie that we used to have back in the day.

I'd like to see the sky sparklies tonight, but seeing as most of my friends are anti-American, we'll have to see about that. Not that I'm all gung-ho patriotic myself (I'm far from it, in fact), but I still like pretty, shiny, lighty things.

PS: I just got the new Radiohead album and I *heart* it so much! My best album purchase since CP's A Rush of Blood to the Head. Whee!

~A (Just cuz you feel it, doesn't mean it's there)

.

{Snitchy McSnitch}
01 July 2003 @ 5:41 PM

BGM: "There there" by Radiohead
Wanting: to cause pain and suffering
Wearing:

AARGH! Evil, vile, reprehensible! Those poor unfortunate souls! I mean, poor unfortunate ME!

It's another one of those see-saw days where the good and bad meet in the center of town and make things ugly.

So I was reprimanded today at work for something I apparently did. Last week, I was hanging out with some of the night crew at work and talking as we usually do when calls are sparse, and the subject came up about being butch and stuff. One of the people in the late crew is so very flagrantly family and I thought it would be safe for me to drop a little advertisement for Gay West.

Apparently, he didn't like it too much. So today, I was called off the phones and told to go see Hilda in Human Resources. She drops it on me that I had hassled this dude and made him feel uncomfortable. I was in such disbelief, I do not go out of my way to make people feel bad and this was way not in the intentions.

What makes me feel even more bad is that he didn't bother to talk to me about it and felt like I was some out of control monster that can't be talked to and just have to be dealt with through HR. Even worse, I CANNOT be reprimanded. Why? Because I absolutely hate it so. Granted, I'm sure no one out there actually LIKES it, I am a special no-no case. Why? Because I go through life feeling like I don't do much (if anything at all) right and to have someone just come by and point out every misstep I take is just too much. My delicate insides (spiritually speaking) cannot handle such harsh criticism. I almost cried.

But the day's evened out by this inexplicable feeling of gushiness that I've been having for the past few days, so I guess it's all good. Or at least for the most part.

AARON:

Your name of Aaron has made you practical, systematic, and thorough. This name encourages the expression of leadership and organizational skills, shrewdness, and analytical ability. You are mathematically adept and have great patience with work of a detailed nature such as bookkeeping, accounting, or technical research. Particular about your material possessions, you keep everything you own in a good state of repair, and you budget your personal finances very carefully. Because of its matter-of-fact influence, this name limits, to some degree, your ability to be flexible and spontaneous. You tend to treat new and unfamiliar ideas with scepticism. Because of the serious, responsible qualities of your name, you must recognize the importance of a sense of humour and optimistic perspective of life. In some ways you are not overly emotional and sympathetic to others and can be shrewd and materialistic. Friends and associates may detect a lack of feeling and sympathy in their relationship with you. You see the practical side of situations and tend to deal with problems in an objective, sensible, and systematic way. That is your way of helping others through challenging situations. Being self-sufficient, you must remember that thoughtful expressions of affection toward those close to you are important. You express your appreciation for others by what you do for them rather than by what you say. Your interests and hobbies are generally along practical, technical, or scientific lines. Weaknesses in the health through stress and tension could affect the intestinal tract and related difficulties or could cause prostate problems.

What's in YOUR name?

~A (Hush, keep it down now, voices carry)

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{where do i start?}
i am... a dancer and a dreamer, latino, gay, a singer, a poet, an artist, a son, a brother, no one's lover, way too obsessed with sailor moon for my own good, a romantic, temporarily unemployed, and too much more to list here

{emotional me}
The current mood of invernal at www.imood.com

{fly me to the moon}
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Sailor Jupiter: who? Sailor Mercury: once was lost, now a geek Sailor Mars: Venus' girltoy Sailor Venus: Mars' daddy

{cool-style}
i was always blue-green cuz we are living in a material world...
« # Gay Diary ? »
Haruka to Michiru kirei
invited by the new age, i am sailorneptune, acting gracefully
typical genki schoolgirls by day, ass-kicking heroines in color-coded mini-skirts by night!
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I adoped Andrew!