Big city dreams for a small-city boy

{In the name of the moon...}
20 March 2004 @ 1:11 PM

BGM: Amanda Ghost - "Filthy Mind"
Wanting: Sailor Moon DVDs boxed sets and I will get them!
Wearing: black Hot Topic 'Game Over' mushroom shirt, grey WF1 cargo shorts

I've been updating a lot. I guess it's to make up for the fact that I've been so negligent for the past week (whether by my own doing or otherwise). I guess it's also due to the fact that I have unlimited internet access while I'm housesitting at my bosses' for the weekend. So I guess if I gotta crib, then crib it to the bone, right?

Anyway, as a result of my desperate need/want to get my Sailor Moon DVDs before the opportunity is gone forever, I've hit eBay and have been bidding like mad. Unfortunately, it seems like others have the same burning desire and are willing to keep outbidding me. Though my determination is arguably well-intended, this venture goes completely against my internal attempts at financial soundness. But the decision has been made that Sailor Moon is more important that life right now and I must have it, at any cost!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get something to eat and I have an appointment with Lupe my hairstylist soon.

3+ {Welcome to my filthy mind}

.

{Don't say goodbye}
20 March 2004 @ 1:39 AM

BGM: Smile.dk - "Future Girls"
Wanting: Sailor Moon DVDs boxed sets!
Wearing: dark red/blue ON baseball shirt, grey FTL boxer-briefs

ARGH! NO!!! It can't be! I may now never be able to see my precious Sailor Moon in the raw Japanese format like God intended it to! I only have until April 1, and there is no way in hell that I'll have that kind of money by then.

GREEK TRAGEDY!

3+ {Our mission is the future and the future never ends}

.

{I'm drowning, so come inside}
19 March 2004 @ 6:13 PM

BGM: Amanda Ghost - "Filthy Mind"
Wanting: big city nightlife!
Wearing: dark red/blue ON baseball shirt, light blue ON cargo shorts

So here I am spending the rest of my Friday at my bosses' computer. It's actually quite nice, I've tidied their place up a bit and am sitting here, barefoot and listening to a mix CD that Ruben made for my birthday (more specifically, listening to Amanda Ghost's "Filthy Mind" for the fifth time in a row).

Actually, before I get any further, let me just say that the ambiance that this song is setting along with the late afternoon sun is really frickin' awesome. I guess the song is from the QAF soundtrack (I don't watch TV anymore, so I have no idea), so it has a really awesome club sound. It reminds me of the a late '90s techno song that I could've heard if I weren't such a loser back then and actually went to a rave. But yeah, I would think that it's fairly obvious that I found this week's new song to obsess about.

But coming back from that tangent, today work was mercifully quick. I owned up to Linda (my TM) about being absent yesterday (albeit I had to use some creative embroidering of the truth to make my reason more understandable). Über-hottie Matt is back after like, a week off. For a while there, I had feared that he had quit. Let me tell you, little does this 6'5" walking Italian orgasm know that he makes my tenure there so much more tolerable and I'd give anything just to be his sweetie. *Le sigh* Too bad he's straight as an arrow. Also, his hunky self VTO'ed me (let me go) really early, so I was more than happy for that.

Afterward, I decided to get my errands done. I went and paid off my payday loan; which I'll have it be known was my last one! I successfully managed to step off of them and I'm so very thrilled that I won't be throwing away my money anymore to pay the interest. Maybe now I can use the extra money to sign up for a gym membership. Then from there, I'll get all hunky and buff, then I'll get noticed by some Hollywood bigshot and I'll become an overnight success story like David Boreanaz! *Squeals with delight* Isn't wishful thinking grand?

I'm probably going to go take a nap or something, and wait for my evening-working friends to get off work so we can commence with the hanging out and having fun.

3+ {Could you make a suggestion for an act I would enjoy}

.

{Pulling the puzzles apart}
18 March 2004 @ 10:47 PM

BGM: Coldplay - "The Scientist"
Wanting: a week off from it all
Wearing: dark red/blue ON baseball shirt, black FTL boxer-briefs

If there's even been a week to drink yourself into an uncoherently blubbering stupor, I'd say this week in March is the most perfect. At least for me anyway. See, my berfday (as the homo-luvin' Fitty Cent put it) was a few days ago. This is true. Also, for the U of A and maybe a couple of school districts here in Tucson, Spring Break has begun. This is also true. And unless you've gotten off the ship from some completely secluded country from the dark side of the Earth, Spring Break has always been equated with drunken shennanigans (even if you're not fortunate enough to be Mommy and Daddy's little trust fund college-kid). Throw in the fact that yesterday was the day that we celebrate the advent of Christianity in Ireland by drinking green beer... well, what more can I say besides pass the Guinness?

But damn, this week has been the near death of me. I've been run ragged from social committments in addition to putting in 40+ hours at work and trying to get a decent night's sleep (the latter being most unfortunately, the area that I've had to skip out on the most).

I also had an EXTREMELY late night last night and didn't get to bed until about 3:30. So, very much aware that I will hear about this without a doubt at work tomorrow, I decided to call in today. The one good thing that I can say came of that (aside from the fact that I got to make up for lost sleep), is that I actually just started on a long-in-coming, several times previously false-started story that Steve and I have codenamed The Zodiac Senshi. I hope that I can keep it up this time.

Right now I'm spending the night at my bosses' house from my 2nd job for whom I'm housesitting. It's nice, albeit a bit unnerving (I always feel a little uneasy sleeping in foreign beds). I've already watered their endless armada of plants and have enjoyed a nice late dinner courtesy of Whataburger and am now whiling my time away until I go to sleep.

I really need to keep more tabs on this. I've strayed so much this week that's it's been really unfair. Though, a large fault of that is the fact that the ILC has been keeping banker's hours this week due to the Spring Break. I'm actually almost glad that it's over.

3+ {Numbers and figures}

.

{Snowlight birthday}
13 March 2004 @ 4:35 PM

BGM: Tsukino Usagi (Sawai Miyuu) - "Over Rainbow Tour"
Wanting: complete PGSM episodes on VCD and soundtrack!
Wearing: grey FTL long-sleeved tee, midnight blue ON tribal tattoo shirt, denim ON pants

Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great honor that I invite you all to my birthday. On this glorious day 17 years ago--

Random dude in the audience: Um, don't you mean 22 years ago?

*Whips out crossbow and shoots him*

Anyway, on this glorious day some inconsequential amount of years ago, I was introduced to the universe. I was almost immediately so not impressed and decided to try and make the best of it anyway.

Years later, I am here, still trying to figure my true purpose and attempting to figure out life's little mysteries while trying to make myself as desirable as possible to other men with the body that the powers that be have granted me. I must say that it's been a fairly worthwhile existence thus far, save for some nagging issues involving sex, love and being tied down to family-related responsibilities.

Anyway as far as this moment right now, today has been exquisite. I awoke to the glorious sound of a morning thunderstorm. Complete with incessant semi-heavy downpours and the sound of cars gliding across the submerged streets. It was some minor elements away from my idea of a perfect day. I even got a chance to lie in bed for a while, reading from my various manga books that are scattered about my room, but most within my reach.

Well, afterward, I took my brother and father out to a little birthday lunch at the Golden Corral. Upon returning, I decided to take care of the pile of dishes in the sink and tackle the rest of the kitchen while I was at it. Because for as much as I'd like it to, chores do not observe personal holidays like we do.

Right now I sit here and type this out and anticipate the rest of the evening. My subtle feelings of despair toward my gradual aging intermixed with the usual dread of the oncoming work week tomorrow and a strong desire that the rest of today doesn't somehow turn shitty.

Well that's it for now.

3+ {This escape with you, hit the gas, and take me on a snowlight drive!}

.

{Clarity... or at least that's what I hope to achieve}
11 March 2004 @ 7:31 PM

BGM: Fukami Rika (Sailor Venus) - "Ai no Megami no 'How to Love' (Love Goddess' 'How To Love')"
Wanting: food and sleep
Wearing: sky blue Izod polo shirt, khaki some-brand-or-other shorts

I'm mental. I'm so mental. I'm a walking escapee from life's insane asylum. Just as a recap, I've diagnosed myself as having acute histrionic tendencies, some serious dependency issues, borderline, avoidant, a slight penchant for schizotypal behavior and even a little OC, for flavoring. Though it should probably be said, my psychological experience is quite limited. All I really have to go on is taking Psych 101 during my first semester of college and the hundreds of online personality quizzes that I so love. Still, who better than yourself to know what the hell's up with you, right? Right! Glad you're with me on this.

Anyway, so what does this all mean? Aside from the fact that I need every single med under the sun, with this lovely menagerie of psychoses, I find it most curious that I manage to get along with anyone, let alone keep from slashing my wrists with the nearest sharp object. I attribute my resillience for (most) self-destructive behaviors to another set of psychoses (whether it be legitimate or not); burdened and over-analyzation. All throughout my squishy childhood years when there was a whirlwind of traumatic events and I was exposed to a lot of (mostly drug related) evil human pratfalls, though they were all tied up in their own messes, my family always told me (and my brother) that we must never fall down, that we must always be guided by our dreams and never falter. It is with that monumental task of not becoming another minority-related statistic that I've continued my uphill climb of life. That and I had a really big habit of thinking about things too deeply.

Of course, life would be just a little too deliciously sweet (and perhaps just a little boring?) if I came out of this a perfect, well-adjusted, physically desirable individual. Enter Reality, with the Mental Disorders as their opening act. Yes, the price I pay for being (mostly) free of vice is that I'm more than likely a borderlining lunatic. Eh. We all have our baggage, n'est pas?

So all this ranting about my flair for the overly was just a set-up for me to say that I'm probably not in such a completely bad standing at work than I had made myself to be. So, though it may look like I have a thumbs up for now, experience has taught me to be wary and to expect the worst.

So the wait continues...

3+ (Sweet heart ni WINKU... Love and Beauty Shock!)

.

{The edge of tomorrow}
09 March 2004 @ 8:58 PM

BGM: none
Wanting: meh
Wearing: aqua green ON polo-style shirt, grey ON cargo pants

Oh yeah, things at work seem to be heading down an all-too certain path. You know that it's almost over for you when your TM and your Lead aren't even saying hi to you every day anymore.

More as it develops. At least quizzes won't fire me for being to damn quiet on the phone...

victorian
You're a Victorian-era corset. How refined.



What corset are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

{Did you expect anything else, sir?}

badboy
Bad Boy - Your ideal guy is the rebellious and
muscular bad boy. He's into living life outside
the lines - and having fun doing it.

Turn ons: You'll enjoy being wrapped up in those
biceps.

Turn offs: He might not always stay true to you,
and those motorcycle rides can seriously screw
up your hair!



What is your ideal type of guy? (With Pictures)
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{*Gushes incoherently*}

I am the Master of the Universe!
Magister Mundi sum!

"I am the Master of the Universe!"

You are full of yourself, but you're so cool you
probably deserve to be. Rock on.



Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
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{Wickedus coolus}

Will Turner is the caring young man from pirates of the caribbean. he will adore you till the day that he dies
You are going to Marry orlando Bloom. He will
always treat you right and is very romantic. He
will do anything for you. He is very polite and
has deep brown eyes and is very good looking
(which is another plus!). He can make anything
cheesy look really hot(like sliding down stairs
on a shield shooting arrows or wearing pointy
ears for example). Congrats!!



Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (now 12 (i just added more, and still more to come!)results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

{SQUEE!}

3+

.

{Next thing you know...}
08 March 2004 @ 8:32 PM

BGM: 4 Strings - "Take Me Away"
Wanting: Sailor Moon swag!!!
Wearing: same as earlier

Just proving to you that I'm probably a str8 boi at heart; I totally forgot to give myself celebration propz for my One-Year Anniversary a week or two back!

So without further ado...

*Whips out confetti from behind his back and blows on noisemaker. Gets evil glare from surrounding Kellis and Kevins at the ILC*

Oops...

Happy Anniversary to me, Invernal!

Oh, and on a similarly-related note, I'z gettin' old! I'll be *gasp* 22 on Saturday! SHOCK! *Psycho shower music plays* But anyone and everyone is welcome to buy me a present (especially from here *cough!* transformation bracelet *hack!* or Mercury or Venus earrings *ahem!*

3+ {A million miles away from here}

.

{If its not enough}
08 March 2004 @ 7:38 PM

BGM: Lostprophets - "Last Train Home"
Wanting: say it with me: "A NEW JOB!"
Wearing: grey FTL long-sleeved tee, midnight blue ON tribal tattoo shirt, grey WF1 shorts

So, seasonal warmth is upon us like so many Kellis at the mall for Spring Break sales. I for one, am overjoyed at the fact that though this wasn't one of the coldest winters in memory, it was one of the most consistently cold and closely-resembling of what a normal winter should be. I was muy satisfecho.

It actually didn't fully occur to me how much I appreciated the spring when I came here to the ILC earlier, when upon entering I was greeted with more bare (or at least flip-flopped) feet than I can consciously recall. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a foot FETISH, just an appreciation for them. On the other hand, I've actually gotten a chance to finally break out my shorts - which oddly enough, outnumber my pants - and in turn get to showcase one of my few physical attributes that I'm proud of; my legs.

Things at work continue to suck. It seems like the Quality department isn't happy unless they find something trivial to fail me for. Luckily for me, this week I only failed two calls (keeping me at 80%), which still sucks, but at least I won't get written up again. Though I've been looking to get fired from that job (cuz I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of letting me not get my unemployment if I quit), I'm kinda glad that I haven't yet. Mostly because I've been too busy (and just a little lazy) to be actively searching for something else.

I dunno... I've been telling myself that if I'm not working, then I should definitely be furthering my education (so I can once and for all stop having to dread the job search game), but there's just too much tied into my making regular money. Biggest of all of course, being my newfound financial responsibility to my dad and my brother and then of course to make the monthly payment to keep Mina.

Fox told mutual math acquaintance (and occasional tutoring 'client') Mary-Ann about my current need-to-work situation (most likely provoked by her enquiring as to why the hell I'm not with her and Fox at the U). She then said that she's going to make sure that she kidnaps me so I can attend next semester. Now I wonder, would it really be called kidnapping if I go willingly?

3+ (But there's still tomorrow, forget the sorrow)

.

{And it feels like home}
06 March 2004 @ 12:08 AM

BGM: Madonna - "Like A Prayer"
Wanting: should be fairly obvious
Wearing: midnight blue/white long-sleeved ON baseball jersey, black AZ Jean Co. carpenter pants

Why is it that no one I've told - which is only all of three people, but that's beside the point - believes me when I say that I'd seriously get a tattoo of Madonna dancing in front of a burning cross (a la her 1989 "Like A Prayer Video") on my back? Personally, I think such a skin-scarring venture would be friggin' awesome!

I'm not the biggest Madonna fan, I'll grant you. In fact, I happen to think that she's done nothing incredibly good since Ray of Light. But an image such as the one ingrained in the mind of everyone 18 years and older is totally appealing to me. If money permitted and I had an attractive enough midsection to be showing it off weren't an issue, I'd so have that tat like that.

3+ (Let the choir sing)

.

{Info-sux}
01 March 2004 @ 7:13 PM

BGM: Big Country - "God's Great Mistake"
Wanting: another, more rewarding job
Wearing: Grey FTL long-sleeved tee, midnight blue ON tee w/blue stripes, black AZ Jean Co. Carpenter jeans

Taken from a write-up document from work, everything in brackets are my own comments.

EXPLANATION OF CIRCUMSTANCES AND STATISTICS SURROUNDING COUNSELING SESSION

It is important for our success as a call center that each CSR maintain acceptable Quality so that customer service expectations are met [Don't lie, I know you mean that because I can't adhere to your overly-exacting standards, you can't make the obscene amounts of money that you're used to]. Low quality scores have a direct impact to service levels and negatively effects (sic) customer satisfaction [Really? I hadn't noticed]. All employees are expected to meet and maintain an average Quality score above 80%. Your Quality score for the week ending 2/26/04 was 70% [I guess I know now what this sheet is for], which is below the company standard [Didn't you just cover that?]. Aaron J*** [God, that sounds so condescending], you are being placed on a Written warning for your sub-standard quality score [Whoop-dee-friggin-doo]. Please see the attached documents for further details [Fuck off].

REQUIREMENTS/SUGGESTIONS

Your Team Manager and Team Lead will continue assisting you [Yeah right] in identifying ways to increase you quality of service to our customers [You mean short of buying them all phonebooks?]. Remote monitors and side-by-side [Um, could you not sit so close? You're invading my aura] training sessions will be conducted to identify areas of improvement [I thought we already knew what my 'problem' was]. If you have any questions regarding the Quality standard [You mean other than the fact that it sucks?], please consult with your Team Manager or Lead [Like they'll do anything about it]. We value you as an employee of Info*** [HA-HAHAHA!] and believe success can be achieved through mutual effort and continued sustained improvement [*cough* Bullshit! *ahem*]. Please be aware that failure to increase and sustain your Quality will result in further disciplinary action up to and including termination of employment [Please be aware that I feel you all full of shit and that we are not numbers and I'm insulted that you fucks don't realize that].

Now it all makes sense, back in my early days at Info, a really cute (and really family) co-worker told me that one of his friends quit here because he didn't like the whole 'big brother' feeling. I didn't recognize it then, the money was too good for me to have qualms, but now I know just what he meant. Looks like I'm going to have to start perusing the classifieds for another job, this time for real.

3+

.

{A very special blog entry}
29 February 2004 @ 10:38 PM

BGM: Blink 182 - "I Miss You"
Wanting: sleep
Wearing: dark red/blue ON jersey-style tee, black AZ Jean Co. Carpenter pants

You know, I really shouldn't be here, not on a Sunday night when I have to be up at 8:00 in the morning to go to work. Why am I here then? Because it's not so often that one gets to blog on the leap day of the leap year. So I figured rather than do an entry tomorrow and alter the date, I'll just make authentic. Yes, I realize that I'm a geek, and no, I'm not ashamed to admit that.

Tonight was so very - and to use a word from my dear Abby - wondermous, even though I was at work all day. Though the callers started out with their usual charm (read: really dim), and the fact that I almost died of hunger before my lunch break (I hadn't eaten anything all day, save for a very luckily-placed fortune cookie), things actually got a lot better as the evening wore on. The high point came surprisingly, when a caller, after I gave her the phone number that she needed, wished me a Happy Leap Day. It was a very simple pleasantry, but it still helped a heap. Another high point came when I got a call from a young lady in New York who asked if I knew who starred in Breakfast at Tiffany's, being the Hollywood semi-buff that I am, I answered Audrey Hepburn with no hesitation. I guess it was all also a feeling of appreciation and satisfaction that added to the good mood. At any rate, tonight was good. If only every Sunday night could be the same way... except for being all hungry and whatnot.

And here's a little survey thing that I found on someone else's blog, I figured that I'd make this once-every-four-years day more special:

Reminds you of an ex-bf/gf: “Goodbye to You” – Michelle Branch
Reminds you of an old friend: “Don’t You Forget About Me” – Simple Minds
Makes you sad: “Only The Lonely” – The Motels
Makes you laugh: “Gloria” – Laura Branigan
Makes you smile: “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” – Cyndi Lauper
You never want to hear again: Anything by Smash Mouth
Reminds you of your teenage years: "How Soon is Now” – The Smiths
You want to get married to: “In Your Eyes” – Peter Gabriel
You like to wake up to: “C’est la Vie” – Aino Minako (Komatsu Ayaka)
You like out of your parents record collection: ”Casas de carton” - Marco Antonio Solís
You love that you wouldn't know about if it wasn't for a friend: “Darkest Days” – Stabbing Westward
Reminds you of your first crush: “God of Wine” – Third Eye Blind
Reminds you of your now crush: “Maps” – The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Makes you think of sex: “I Feel Love” – Donna Summer
Makes you think of being alone: “Alone” – Lasgo
Has only been released recently but you love already: “I Miss You” – Blink 182
Are embarrassed to admit you like: “I Drove All Night” – Celine Dion
Perks you up: “A Praise Chorus” – Jimmy Eat World
Song that people should jump in front of a fucking truck if they like: anything by Hillary Duff or Three Doors Down
Makes you feel like spending a night with a bottle of Captain doing things you'll never remember and never regret: “Creep” – Radiohead
Makes you feel like getting married, buying your uncle's farm, sharing a bottle of Jack and watching the stars every night with light heads: “Crazy for You” – Madonna
Makes you long for something you'll never have: “The Scientist” – Coldplay
Makes you want to fall in love: “I’m With You” – Avril Lavigne
Makes you regret ever falling in love: “With or Without You” – U2
Makes you wish you hadn’t grown up so fast: “It’s My Life” – No Doubt
Makes you feel like everything is going to be alright: “Everything’s Not Lost” – Coldplay

3+ (Don't waste your time on me you're already the voice inside my head)

.


{where do i start?}
i am... a dancer and a dreamer, latino, gay, a singer, a poet, an artist, a son, a brother, no one's lover, way too obsessed with sailor moon for my own good, a romantic, temporarily unemployed, and too much more to list here

{emotional me}
The current mood of invernal at www.imood.com

{fly me to the moon}
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{i lurve these people}
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{sprites!}
Sailor Luna: Chibi-usa, reenvisioned Sailor Moon: at least this gif has the ponytails hanging properly; BEHIND her Tuxedo Kamen: aka - T3H M45K3D MULL37
Sailor Jupiter: who? Sailor Mercury: once was lost, now a geek Sailor Mars: Venus' girltoy Sailor Venus: Mars' daddy

{cool-style}
i was always blue-green cuz we are living in a material world...
« # Gay Diary ? »
Haruka to Michiru kirei
invited by the new age, i am sailorneptune, acting gracefully
typical genki schoolgirls by day, ass-kicking heroines in color-coded mini-skirts by night!
watch out for that mercury chick, she'll inhale you in one breath
we never change, do we?
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Gone, but not forgotten: 
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It was a thing
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I adoped Andrew!