Big city dreams for a small-city boy

{Sky fits Aaron}
07 June 2003 @ 12:13 AM

BGM: "Sky Fits Heaven" by Madonna, as well as various other techno songs
Wanting: to be a genki, über-cute raver boi

I am an obsessive beeotch. I know that I scream the opposite all the time (especially when it comes to a certain British rock band whom need no further mentioning), but it's true (and only I can admit that).

Tonight's obsession du jour is (if you can't already tell) Madonna's techno-flavored hit from 1999's album Ray of Light, "Sky Fits Heaven." (This also by the way, has to do with my annoying penchant to catch on to cool things late in the game, resulting in me missing out on a lot of stuff.)

Anyway, I had heard the song right around the time it came out, and back then I was into techno, so I loved it. Now however, it seems to be something that I can't get away from. Every time I hear it, I always feel like I was robbed from being able to dance to this song at a rave or some kinda club. I know it's silly and even inane thing to fuss over, but if I hadn't of been too busy being Mom's Perfect Somewhat Homely Little Angel, I would've so been into the rave scene and maybe things would be a lot different today. Granted, I would've had to have known someone to get me into the circle, still I know for a fact that I wouldn't be such a mopey dope if I had taken some initiative and gotten out to dance more often.

Le sigh... I know that the past can't be changed. But if it were, you can bet your knock-off Fendi handbag that I would be all over that (especially the high school years)!

But then again, one CAN always move to another city and start life anew there...



{New rings}
06 June 2003 @ 3:27 PM

BGM: "Under the Water" by Brother Brown f/Frank'ee
Wanting: Chris Martin!

So I've created two new music related rings. Please feel free to join:

Remy Zero


Coldplay (of course)

I know that they look alike as far as their design goes, but that's the extent of my html-savviness for now.



{That's just the way it is}
06 June 2003 @ 11:18 AM

BGM: "Broken Wings" by Mr. Mister
Wanting: for things to be the opposite of the way they are

It's been now two weeks since I last heard anything from Ohio boy. I'm not bitter and I'm not worried that something happened to him. Call it callous, but I know exactly what happened to him - nothing, he just lost interest.

It's the same thing that happened two summers ago when I tried to talk to this one dude I thought was cool in Phoenix. We chatted for a while, compared our traumatic childhoods and created what I had thought was a connection. I guess we didn't because just out of the blue he stopped writing me one day.

It also happened with another Phoenix guy whom I met in Portland this past November. Though I never got a chance to express myself to him, I had so sincerely hoped that I would. I wrote him after we came back to Arizona and he responded once. After I wrote him back, I never heard from him again.

Then of course, there's he-who-will-not-be-mentioned. The man who overtook my heart from August of 2001 to December of 2002, and occasionally makes a cameo in my mind as I admittedly still miss him. Once I bled my heart out to him, he whipped out the "we're too good of friends to do that" excuse and promised to keep in touch but didn't.

I'm not sad, I'm just disappointed from it having to be the way it is.

Ohio boy, if you can read this, I'm sorry if it was something I said, but I really had fun discovering our similarities and it was always nice to hear from you.



{Gay Pride Month}
05 June 2003 @ 7:40 AM

BGM: "Unwell" by matchbox twenty
Wanting: something rainbow-y

"June is National Gay Pride Month, which should be a nice change of pace for some, seeing as May was National Gay Shame Month." -Mo Rocca from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Break out the rainbows and do something festive in the name of Pride!



{Return of Ruben}
02 June 2003 @ 12:35 AM

BGM: none
Wanting: to hang out with Ruben

So Matt told me an hour or so ago that Ruben IM'd him saying that he was back from California. Apparently, he didn't hit it off with some dudes that he was going to meet there or something. Anyway, Matt said that Ruben put it as "horrid" so I don't know how bad it could've been, seeing as Rube's got a flair for the dramatic. But whatever, I'm not cynical, I'm just glad that he's come back to us.

And apparently, it's guestbook signing week! A holiday! Whoo! A reason to celebrate! Whoo-hoo! A reason to drink! Oh yeah!

Middle-aged. You'll die from something unexpected,
just when your kids are going to college or
something great is happening. Cause Unknown.

At what age will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla



{Minus the freeway to Phoenix, Tucson can be fairly entertaining, you just have to look very hard}
01 June 2003 @ 12:09 PM

BGM: "In This Diary" by The Ataris
Wanting: more nights like these

I believe it was I who said (and I will quote myself) "I guess I should take it back by saying all those things about how Tucson doesn't have any excitement. WE'RE (my group of friends and I) the excitement!" This of course, was in reference to the not-quite-as-we-had-hoped-but-well-intended triple party for Ruben, Marc and Shaunda.

But to hold true to what I had said, last night after having pissed and moaned that there was nothing to do, Fox, Matt and I decided to take matters into our own hands. After the Lounge closed, we hauled on over to our (Matt's and my) house. Matt needed to eat something and I had to go retrieve a frisbee. I got my pretty rainbow IBT's one that I got at their stand at last year's OUToberFEST. While we were waiting, we watched this badly dubbed French (or was it American?) film that involved way too much HLA (Hot Lesbian Action; if you could even call it that) for my taste. Anyway, once that finished, we saw the first ten minutes of "Not Another Teen Movie" because I never really get to see that part much. I said that we could leave only after the Most Evil Girl In School made her entrance (complete with the kickin' Marilyn Manson version of "Tainted Love" in the background), is that not the most awesome entrance ever??

But anyhow, I've digressed. Once that whim was placated, we cruised on over to the park, listening to the mellow sounds of Fox's Cranberries Greatest Hits album.

As we were arriving at the park, Matt made a comment about how it smelled like ass. It was only natural, I suppose, given that not only does the park house the zoo, but the stanky neon green-colored water in the duck pond was being drained too. It was then that I had the brilliant idea of going in there. Not just to check it out, but because to say that I actually wandered about on a dried-up lake bed. Funny Aaron comment coming: as we were driving across the parking lot and seeing the dried-up pond, Fox and Matt wondered out loud, how did they get all the water out? Well, naturally I said something along the lines of "with a big straw," at which Matt and Fox nearly threw up in disgust. I know I'm bad, but second to actually making them laugh, grossing out my friends is something I get the greatest kick out of. After parking, we walked over. As we did, we passed by a smaller body of water where all the ducks had been relocated to. We also crossed this little ditch that smelled like something not-quite fresh, but like rancid, three-week-old mayonnaise left out in the 100+ Arizona heat.

At the pond, we stood at the edge and contemplated going in. Fox and I were the most gung-ho about it, while Matt didn't seem too keen on it. Once Fox called him on his overly-Aquarian attitude towards such things ("That's all you Aquarians will ever do, is wonder" or something like that), we all jumped in. The concrete edge of the pond was a good three to four feet higher than the shallowest end, so when we jumped down, I was a little taken aback (I hate heights). So we go in and walk down towards the "abyss" of the pond. At which point we are completely overwhelmed by the smell. It's like, though it may be gone, the spirit of the skanky ass-water still remained. It took less than a minute for us to have just about enough of that and we made a most hasteful retreat.

On the way back over to the parking lot (the only well-lit area of the park), Fox and Matt gave me dirty looks as if I had twisted their arms go into the pond with me. I still hold that unless someone's limb was lost in the process *knock on wood*, it was better to know than to forever wonder "what if." Besides, it might be another 50 years or so before that lake is drained again, why not find out while we're young and stupid?

Anyway, once we hit the parking lot, we broke out with the frisbee. Seeing as there were only three of us, we formed a trine. We haven't had a good frisbee outing in ages, and we decided that we were overdue. That, and we sucked so bad. Once we got into it though, it became a lot easier and we got better. Though, my poor frisbee got all badly scratched up and dirty ::sniff::

Who would've thought that something so simple as tossing around a frisbee would give you such an athletic workout? Jeez, I was so sweaty and I really felt the burn on my legs. I was so tired, but in a satisfying way. Ahh, the simplest pleasures are always the best.

Unfortunately, our fun didn't last too long. It was about 2:00 AM and the past was way past closing time. A police car came and told us we needed to get out of there before he unleashed some well-warned brutality. I think that by that point we were spent, so it was all good.

It was a really enjoyable night. It's something that I've missed from the large group of QVers; the randomness we'd do in the name of fun. In the very least, it was something that I missed in the time when we didn't hang out with Fox like we used to.

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up. These are the best days of our lives...



{where do i start?}
i am... a dancer and a dreamer, latino, gay, a singer, a poet, an artist, a son, a brother, no one's lover, way too obsessed with sailor moon for my own good, a romantic, temporarily unemployed, and too much more to list here

{emotional me}
The current mood of invernal at

{fly me to the moon}

{reach out and touch me}

{i lurve these people}
rb colorkid
margaret cho
kitty magic

Sailor Luna: Chibi-usa, reenvisioned Sailor Moon: at least this gif has the ponytails hanging properly; BEHIND her Tuxedo Kamen: aka - T3H M45K3D MULL37
Sailor Jupiter: who? Sailor Mercury: once was lost, now a geek Sailor Mars: Venus' girltoy Sailor Venus: Mars' daddy

i was always blue-green cuz we are living in a material world...
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