Big city dreams for a small-city boy

{What's cooler than being cool?}
08 November 2003 @ 3:44 PM

BGM: Outkast - "Hey Ya"
Wanting: to not have to pay bills, they suck!
Wearing: midnight blue ON tee w/blue and grey stripes, black AZ Jean Co. carpenter pants

You know, it really sucks when you're out paying your bills on a Saturday (of all days), and you find that you owe more than you usually do.

My three payments; phone, car and insurance are all over what I normally pay. This is not good, because it seems like I'm having more money problems than I had when I was living with Matt.

But what's managed to help me get through my day is recalling a really humorous incident. Last night, Matt and I hung out for a while at Bentley's. It was Open Mic Night (read: cover your ears), so I we decided to sit outside. Anyway, the coffeehouse is right next to Dirtbag's, a popular bar amongst the U of A's Kellis and Kevins. So, as we were sitting outside, a group of Kellis walked by and were being their normal ditzily vacuous selves. They were obviously on their way to Dirtbag's, as they were wearing their partying uniforms (figure-hugging clothes, flip-flops, obscene amounts of make-up). Well, the most vocal Kelli of the group was singing Outkast's "Hey Ya." Only instead of singing "shake it like a POLAROID picture," she was singing "shake it like a PORNIFIED picture." One of her fellow Kellis corrected her, but it couldn't save her. Matt and I did an exceedingly good job of keeping from cracking up in front of them.

Yeah. Good times. Now I should probably nap a bit before the Jimmy Eat World concert tonight.



{"Hello Neo, I am Moofius"}
08 November 2003 @ 3:20 AM

BGM: none
Wanting: n/a
Wearing: same as earlier

Okay, this is seriously my last post before I go to sleep.

This little clippy could make one seriously repent and go vegetarian. If not, at least be more conscious about what kinds of animal products should be bought.

I sure did.



{I so pretty}
08 November 2003 @ 2:46 AM

BGM: Ace of Base - "Never Gonna Say I'm Sorry"
Wanting: a pretty body!
Wearing: forest green ON 'New York' tee, blue/green ON plaid pajama bottoms

Being the fly girl that I am, I got my hair did today. Thank the gods that Lupe my stylist is back from vacation, my coif was threatening to overthrow the rest of my head. Actually, I told Lupe that I've been considering getting shorter bangs and go for a classier look. She one-uped me and suggested I get the entire crown area of my hair shortened. I'm a little wary of that, seeing as I think it would put me dangerously close to a mullet, and I would probably die of irony if I had that done to me. But I'll see how that goes.

Oh, I was reminded of something. The other day, a 'family member' that I work with at Info was playing with my hair and hand-combing it. He's fascinated by it and loves it, and I in turn love having people touch my hair.

Anyway, he called me a "prettyboy." I've been thinking about it, and I've come to the conclusion that I could live with that. And you know what else? I'm not all that bad looking, if I do say so myself. I just have to worry about getting rid of some of my extra cargo before I can convince other people that I'm worthwhile. Not that their opinion of me matters to me at all, mind you.

Well, not that much.

Okay, I lied, it does. I live for compliments.

Anyway, just a few mental calories I had to burn off before going to bed.

Love me!

~A (I'm not normal, I know it, I don't care)


{*Flips off Sprint*}
07 November 2003 @ 7:33 PM

BGM: Jewel - "Stand"
Wanting: decent customer service would be nice
Wearing: black/grey ON jersey-tee, denim Levi's button-fly jeans

You know, I usually never have a problem talking to a live person when I'm calling Sprint customer service. So, why is it that one can never reach one when their phone has been turned off? It's like you've suddenly caught some venerial disease that they all know about and it's somehow transmittable over the phone. What gives? And when I try to choose from a payment option over the phone, IT WON'T FREAKING LET ME!

So now here I am, AT HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT, like a loser because I can't get a hold of anyone and hang out. This is low, even for me. Maybe Stephen had the right idea. Anyway, if anyone within like a 20 mile radius reads this and at the proper time (which should be anytime tonight), please IM me or something and let me know that diz-eal is for tonight.

~A (It's a shame there's no one to blame)


{Someday I'll fly}
06 November 2003 @ 8:31 PM

BGM: John Mayer - "Bigger Than My Body"
Wanting: wings to fly away
Wearing: orange plaid ON button-up shirt, khaki work pants

I may have been a little too anxious to label my current situation as dire, such was the theme of late last night's posting. One of the more prominent characteristics of the negative end of my double-sided mood is that I tend to judge things as being too hopeless for me to try to do anything about.

Thankfully, that unwelcome cloud bearing suffering and woe has somewhat changed today. I was doing my usual 8:00 to 4:30 Thursday tenure at work and I couldn’t help feeling much better about things. Not that work has that effect mind you, no not by a long shot. The reason for my perked-uppyness is due to the upcoming Jimmy Eat World concert. I know that they aren’t the #1 best choice to make one feel the warm fuzzies, but it did the trick for me, so go figure. That, and I über-cool John was able to get this Sunday covered for me, so that was a very nice touch.

I’ve also noticed a trend. Usually on my drive home on Thursdays (my Fridays), I tend to sing/groove (as much as one can while driving)/act a fool a little more than usual. I guess that’s normal for the 9:00 to 5:00 drones… *get a chill by thinking that he just might be ONE of them* Nah…

Also, the latest single from the beautifully angsty John Mayer has struck a chord with me. I’m pretty oblivious with song lyrics (amongst other things, but then again, we already know that), so it never occurred to me just what he was singing, I just knew that I liked it. I liked it so much in fact, that I had to listen to it tonight after a taking a small nap (which works wonders for one’s mood, by the way). And hey, guess what? The lyrics seem to fit me so damned perfectly right now that I just have to share them. Guess who’s got a new obsessive song?

This is a call to the color-blind
This is an IOU
I'm stranded behind a horizon line
Tied up in something true

Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded (by)
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for

Why is it not my time?
What is there more to learn?
Shed this skin I've been tripping in
Never to quite return

Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded (by)
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for
Cause I'm bigger than my body now

Maybe I'll tangle in the power lines
And it might be over in a second's time
But I'll glady go down in a flame
If the flame's what it takes to remember my name

Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded (by)
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry
For my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body
I'm bigger than my body
I'm bigger than my body now

-John Mayer "Bigger Than My Body"

~A (Someday I’ll soar)


{As if things couldn't get any worse...}
05 November 2003 @ 11:30 PM

Wanting: AS
Wearing: EARLIER

I very much dislike this family. It's always something new to get disheartened about. Today's weight comes from my own brother, who not only a few months back I was singing the praises of because I thought he had matured enough so that we can have a rapport. Because he's too busy with his damned fraternity to get a job, it's somehow OUR collective (meaning my grandmother's, possibly my tight-assed uncle's and my) duty to help with the bills HE'S amassed.

Truth be told, yes I do owe him about $160; Mina's repairs ran beyond what I could cover. Thoughts of debt and such anchor me from feeling good and pillage my free thoughts on a daily basis as it is, I don't need to be reminded about them every day. If I could, I'd pay back all the money I every borrowed from anyone, just so I could have a moment's peace. What's worse, I didn't send in my car payment in last month because of the ongoing menutia with them and my insurance company. As a result of that; I somehow have to pay about $700 for both months, over $100 for my phone, and about $180 for my insurance. So I really DON'T need any outside reminders of what they're owed, thank you very much.

I need out. I need to get away from this family. I need to free myself of all these things that weigh me down and break my spirit and keep me from flying up towards the golden light of my shining dreams. Anyone out there care to save me? I'll resign myself to be your personal slave if you'll rid me of all this vile commotion involving money.

~A (I've got to breathe)


{Going under}
05 November 2003 @ 9:50 PM

BGM: "Going Under" by Evanesance
Wanting: NOT this damned town and it's backwards citizens
Wearing: midnight blue ON button-up, grey slacks of a currently-unknown-to-me-brand

*NOTE: Lots of cussing abounds. Consider ye warned.

All I have to say to this back-asswards shithole of a town is: FUCK YOU!!!

GOD! Finally when the opportunity for us as a whole comes to move forward, what happens? NOTHING! GRR! I'm so ANGRY!

*Takes a deep breath*

Okay, the muse to my ire comes at my finding out about yesterday's election results. Some people that I was rooting for didn't win, we still have the same mayor (whom I don't really have an opinion on, so I can't say if that's necessarily a good or bad thing), but most importantly the plans to improve public transit and get a lightrail were DEFEATED!

I guess I shouldn't be too angered since I didn't vote myself, but it's still very frustrating to think know that I live in a city that doesn't think highly of modernization. The highest turnout percentage is always the old people and here is good ol' AZ, all the old people are rich and have their own cars, so why improve public transit when they can continue to wreak havoc on the streets and adding to the current traffic problems?

Thank the gods that I am getting out of here soon so I won't have to put up with this shit anymore.

~A (Now I will tell you what I've done for you)


05 November 2003 @ 1:17 AM

BGM: "Carry On" from Sailor Moon (English version)
Wanting: more than words can convey
Wearing: blue sweatshirt thingie of unknown brand, various shades of blue checkered Perry Ellis sleep bottoms

For those not in the know, this is what I have to go through on a daily basis at the Hellmouth they dare call work at Info (taken from an actual phone call):

Male voice prompt: City and state, please.
Caller (male): [Names one of the five boroughs of NYC, I think the Bronx].
Me: And how can I help you in the Bronx?
Caller: I need whatever number you have for Con Edison (the name of the local gas/electric utilities provider).
Me (searching): I have ConEd's main number for customer service.
Caller: Is that the only number you have for them?
Me: Well, unless you have a gas leak emergency, then yes.
Caller: No, the only gas emergency I have is in my bowels [amused by his own joke].
Me: [Thoroughly disgusted but forces a courteous chuckle] Very nice. Thank you, have a nice day [connects him].

All I can say to that is: *dry heaves* And because of that, I was too disgusted to eat lunch... well not really, but it was still a rather nasty thing to have heard.

PS: Tonight marks the first night I get to break out my cute pajama sleep bottoms!

~A (Give me the strength to carry on)


{Like a ton of snowflakes}
03 November 2003 @ 11:12 PM

BGM: Pachelbel's Canon in D Major (techno remix)
Wanting: to be in the arms of a strong, affectionate man who wuvs me (saccharine much?)
Wearing: red two-tone ON shirt, black AZ Jean Co. carpenters (for like the 3rd day in a row)

I feel like such a hypocrite! From since about after my birthday (mid-March) up until a few weeks ago, all I've done is kvetch about how it's so damned hot here and like winter will never grace us with her frosty presence. Well, today was the perfect template for one of the über-enjoyable days that I so relish in, and what do I do? I start whining like a David Boreanaz on Angel because its so damn cold! I feel like such a traitor to all the things associated with my sign; a penchant for coldness and all. In my own defense, I attribute it to the clime's bloody sudden-ness in change. My body probably hasn't gotten the proper chance to stabilize to the cool. I guess such erratic weather, though nigh impossible to plan for, should be expected here in Limbo.

But in much better news, Matt managed to be my sugah daddy and scored us a pair of Jimmy Eat World tickets for this Saturday! I'm going to get to go my tied-for-favorite band in the world's concert! Who wouldn't be excited for that? I'm so happy, I don't think anything can make this any more perfect. Well, I could hook up with a masculine rocker-type. THAT'D pretty much seal the deal for me. But knowing full well that I'm just not that lucky, I'll settle for this being as good as it'll get for me right now.

~A (I am Anderson Mesa)


{In the name of fall}
03 November 2003 @ 1:58 AM

BGM: "Seven" by Prince
Wanting: can't say really...
Wearing: dark red and blue ON jersey-style shirt, black AZ Jean Co. carpenter jeans

Mmm... finally the stranglehold of this preternaturally-lengthy summer seems to be letting go. As I left work mercifully early this evening, I could not help but become enchanted by the fact that the autumnal equinox a few weeks back had not been in vain. The brisk coolness of the late evening made me hopeful that the upcoming winter season will be as cold and as magical as I remember them.

I have been in such a spiritual mood as of late, like in tune with the changing season, and ideas relating heavily to death and the occult have been getting me very intrested and excited about them. It feels like I should officially claim Wiccan as my belief system or something.

Speaking of obsessions, I've been keeping a sort of controlled elation about the new live-action "Pretty Guardian Sailormoon." I've been visiting miscellaneous sites dedicated to them and jumping off links from there. Mainly to see the pics of the cast and whatnot. Especially this tasty bit of Japanese delight right here (might wanna use Babelfish to translate it) whom they've called to play Tuxedo Kamen. I've never been a fan of Mamo-san, but I think this might make me change my mind.

Let us put our heads down and be gloomy around you.
You are one morbid, perhaps depressing
character. Your dark mind causes you to talk
about things of the same subject. Others
(myself included) may not mind your talk and
find it interesting to talk to you since death
is just a natural thing. Yes, death fascinates
you, but there is no need to keep bringing it
upon people about their own demise. You may see
life as just a phase we go through before we
die. You may even think of what your funeral
will be like. You are not a depressed person,
although that's a possibility. But yeah, you
could be an outsider and have your own strange
friends. Happy Halloween though, Bleak One.

What Halloween Figure Are You? (Fun Quiz! MANY RESULTS!)
brought to you by Quizilla

{Umm, caw?}

~A (With the intellect and the savoir faire)


{Día de los Muertos}
02 November 2003 @ 1:37 AM

BGM: various drums, bottles and bells, a la the ddlm procession
Wanting: sweet, sweet sleep
Wearing: white Hanes v-neck, black Hanes boxer-briefs

Halloween was good, but not great. I'm really not up to writing about it, seeing as it's past and there's not much to say about it. I felt like I pretty much got all dressed, made-up and went all-out for nothing.

What we did do was enjoyable. After nixing the usual hot-spots like Mt. Lemmon and the Rincon Cemetary, we decided to go to a coupe of new locales; Agua Caliente Park, and this old road that leads to this ghost town up northeast called Redington (sp?).

Agua Caliente Park was cool. It was up in the vicinity of Pantano and Tanque Verde. The park itself was gated and we got in through a bent post of the fence on the side. Breaking an entering was something that theretofore I had not had a chance to put on my resumé, so that being done *checks off from clipboard*. Anyway, it was fun, we were slightly spooked by some demonic ducks that sounded like they were cackling. There could also be heard the faint chatter of some possible Kellis across the swamp. We walked across the vast park and came across some eerily lit, but strangely abandoned (and fenced-off) school buildings. Next to which was a bridge that we were about to cross, if it weren't for a damned pack of coyotes that howled like they were right nearby! Haunted or not, we ran like the George Bush himself was on our heels.

After that, we went up this dirt road that eventually leads to a ghost town, hours northeast of us. We only went up like a mile or so, along a horrid, unpaved dirt road that caused my car to smell like burning. When we stopped though, it was awesome, there was a gorgeous view of the city lights and we all toasted and talked for about an hour.


Today, I marched in the procession for Día de los Muertos (The Day of the Dead). It was so incredible. For the third day in a row, I donned my schoolboy costume and marched in the parade with Matt, who was also in uniform, only as my female counterpart.

The parade took us from the parking lot of the Muse, to the adjacent alley, to 4th Avenue, down to Congress, up Scott, down Pennington, up another random street, to Toole and finally to a parking lot on the corner of Stone and Toole. All througout, there were percussionists, people clanging bottles, and tambourines and chimes; I kept beat by clapping and jangling my keys. My hands and arms were really sore by then, not to mention my feet; walking at about a pace of three miles an hour or so on an approximately mile-long procession route can wreak havoc on one's feet, especially is he's trying to jive a little while walking and clapping.

Once the parade got to the parking lot, there was an after-show. It was really ceremonious and involved a lot of hot shirtless guys playing with fire. Definitely a sight that one should feel honored in having seen. But that, and the parade itself was so incredible. Ironically enough, the whole thing seemed so lively and upbeat, something I never expected from an event honoring the dead. I dunno, maybe it's the novelty of me taking part in a new event, but it really made an impression on me and gave me a newfound appreciation/intrest in death. It sounds way weird, I know, but I'm really super-intrested in finding out more about it now. I also wish that we could have something like this more often, as opposed to just once a year.

Also, at the montly EON dance, I talked to DJ Raynman's assistant, Chaz. He used to be a phone jockey with me at Info and we have grounds for a platonic relationship because of that. Anyway, we chatted for a while, he gave me a strongly-scented fake rose wrapped in green tissue paper. It was really sweet, literally, he put candies in it. But that's beside the point, he asked me if I was still at Info, to which I gave him a hesitant yes. He told me that he was now temping and that he highly recommends it, so at his suggestion, I now have another recourse to finding work. He also noted that I look thinner, which totally made my night.

With that I end tonight's long rant, I'm feeling really happy, yet tired. If I'm going to start my work week anew tomorrow, I'll need a good night's sleep to get that going.

~A (And I love you still)


{where do i start?}
i am... a dancer and a dreamer, latino, gay, a singer, a poet, an artist, a son, a brother, no one's lover, way too obsessed with sailor moon for my own good, a romantic, temporarily unemployed, and too much more to list here

{emotional me}
The current mood of invernal at

{fly me to the moon}

{reach out and touch me}

{i lurve these people}
rb colorkid
margaret cho
kitty magic

Sailor Luna: Chibi-usa, reenvisioned Sailor Moon: at least this gif has the ponytails hanging properly; BEHIND her Tuxedo Kamen: aka - T3H M45K3D MULL37
Sailor Jupiter: who? Sailor Mercury: once was lost, now a geek Sailor Mars: Venus' girltoy Sailor Venus: Mars' daddy

i was always blue-green cuz we are living in a material world...
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