Big city dreams for a small-city boy

{Friday Five - Saturday, 29 Nov '03}
29 November 2003 @ 5:45 PM

BGM: Human League - "Don't You Want Me"
Wanting: same as earlier
Wearing: same as earlier

A Friday 5, to add weight to my entries:

1. Do you like to shop? Why or why not?
Good gods, yes. Shopping for clothes is the most therapeutic thing in the world.

2. What was the last thing you purchased?
A couple of shirts, a beanie and a hoodie at Old Navy yesterday.

3. Do you prefer shopping online or at an actual store? Why?
Online has some advantages, there area lot more rare items that one can only find online, but live shopping gets results quicker!

4. Did you get an allowance as a child? How much was it?
A loosely-defined one whose frequency and amount always varied.

5. What was the last thing you regret purchasing?
The Old Navy beanie; its too damn small!

~A (Money, that's what I want)


{The hymns of offering}
29 November 2003 @ 5:24 PM

BGM: Collective Soul - "The World I Know"
Wanting: all the things listed below wrapped in a nice aqua blue bow
Wearing: midnight blue and white long-sleeved ON jersey-style shirt, black AZ Jean Co. carpenter pants

I forgot to mention something back in my last postÖ I went to the dentist on Wednesday. It was a necessity, because those instances where I felt less than fresh (as far as my breath goes) were just too much for me to handle. I mean, a man is only as good as his breathÖ well minus a few exceptions. Anyway, the visit also marked quite a first; never since an instance when I lost one of my baby teeth had I spit out that much blood. Nope. Iíve never even had to in a fight, cuz though I am a scrappy lad; Iíve always managed to avoid that.

That being said, I have a follow-up to fill my four (or is it five?) cavities on the 7th (or is it 5th?) of January.

HmmÖ what else? Oh yes, as of late Iíve kept somewhat to myself so Iíve been watching the Vampire Chronicles movies that Dorian lent me. After watching both Interview with the Vampire and Queen of the Damned, Iíve decided that my favorite character is Louis. I think I have a stronger connection and I probably identify more with him than anyone else. Like him, I sometimes seem to have a tortured soul and a nagging past.

I also saw Scary Movie 3 last night with Steve. I thought it was a fairly good piece of time-consumption. It wasnít at all the greatest movie Iíve ever seen (is it me or does Anna Faris [Cindy] always seem like sheís out of breath when sheís speaking?), but it was good enough. I think my favorite character was George (played by Simon Rex), who was supposed to be mainly representing my beloved Joaquin Phoenixís character from Signs. That and taking the fact that heís an infamous porn star into consideration, made for some very entertaining naughty thoughts dance around in my head when he was onscreen.

I might have to actually report into my pseudo-job in a bit. I wrote about it a few months back; the job that I had gotten working at a gay-owned realty company just south of downtown. Well, despite the fact that I have a deep burning passion for money, I find that job painfully tedious and not really worth my time. But despite my truancy thatís lasted about two months for that job, Del (my manager) still seems to call on me and requests me to come in and do some work for him. I guess I canít be subtle about telling him that menial office work at the painfully low rate of $20 per day isnít for me by not returning his calls.

SighÖ I dislike this time of year for the reason of the increased emphasis of clinging to oneís significant other. I need my someone by my side to snuggle next to by the er, umÖ heater I guess, seeing as there isnít much of a need for a fireplace here in this relentless heatbox of a desert. Either that, or I just need a good shagging.

AieeshÖ I canít think of anything else to say. I came to the ILC with the intent of telling something epic and whatnot but I seem to have failed in that.

~A (And I laugh to myself, while the tears roll down)


{The tryptophane's kickin in}
27 November 2003 @ 8:48 PM

BGM: Corrina May - "I Can't Live Without Music"
Wanting: to be in the spirit of the ever-bustling tradition that tomorrow's gonna be, some money would be nice
Wearing: two-tone grey and maroon sweater, grey ON cargo pants

So this is Thanksgiving
And what have you eaten
Another Turkey Day over
To the mall tomorrow I'll be gone
So this is Thanksgiving
For Americans and uh.. Americans
No one else really celebrates it...

*record scratches, shatters*

Okay, that, ladies and jellyspoons was my attempted Thanksgiving rendition of John Lennon's "War Is Over." As one can plainly tell, my lyrical flow isn't at all that. Maybe I should just stick to drawing.

Speaking of which, I'm so happy that people haven't actually turned and run away from my pictures. I wish I were in a place that actually had a scanner so that I could get some more in, but I've swallowed a 16lb turkey-load of pride and have come back to the distinctly-smelling, colorfully-populated, possibly-disease-ridden 24 Internet place down on Congress.

Le sigh... my Thanksgiving was pretty mediocre. I worked and became incessantly pissed at the jerkos that called me for not taking a day off from giving themselves cancer with their phone for at least one day. Luckily, I was let go early right after my last break.

Dinner at home was okay. We had the basic fixings; turkey, mashed potatoes, rolls, stuffing, etc. Then when my grandma sent me out for some more wine coolers, I found that we would have to be in the forced company of Adrian's repugnant offspring. With that, I retreated to watch some quality Anne Rice works on DVD.

That brings me to here. I just felt severe withdrawl symptoms from being online (stupid ILC closing for the weekend), so I felt the need to come down here.

So I'm going to end this tonight by giving a short little "Thankful List." I'm basically going to give some snaps to some of the things I take for granted:

1. The fact that I haven't woken up dead yet.

2. Cheese, in all it's form and splendor.

3. Mina, my ever-hardworking get-away vehicle.

4. My parents, even though they're not around to help me out.

5. My grandmother, because she is and she doesn't get the recognition she deserves.

6. My friends. Whether it be my increasingly regular Troika comrades or people whom I've only known through an online exchange, it's extremely difficult to feel truly alone with them around, which by the way, is a good thing.

7. Money, whenever it does happen to grace my hands.

8. And whatever else which simplifies and gives pleasure to my life that I might have overlooked.

Happy Thanksgiving!

~A (It's a rainbow in the night)


{Drawings, finally!}
26 November 2003 @ 2:57 AM

BGM: Coldplay - "Amsterdam"
Wanting: sleep!
Wearing: same as earlier

So, before I go, I decided to try my hand at uploading some of my drawings for minna-san (everyone) to see. Now, be forewarned, coloring and stuff is SO not my thing, especially not with pencil.

This first drawing is a caricatured version of myself. Well, minus obvious anthropomorphic features and the fact that in real life I do wear glasses and have slightly longer hair usually in a ponytail.

The second one here is a sort of combination of a couple of my loves; princesses, girls with pretty hair, sailor suits and Victorian women's dresses. Call me weird, but I love that stuff.

Please let me know what you think, I live off of positive feedback!


~A (Oh my star is fading)


{I will wrap you in cold}
26 November 2003 @ 1:02 AM

BGM: AFI - "Silver and Cold"
Wanting: °dinero! °mucho y mŠs dinero!
Wearing: sea green ON polo-style shirt, grey Original Khaki Co. slacks

Okay, so I think that LAUNCH is broken. As per my custom, I'm quelling the otherwise all-encompassing silence that surrounds me by listening to my favorite commercial-addled online radio station. Well, as I was just going about my business, what decides to side-swipe my ears but The Monkees' "I'm A Believer." Nothing personal against Monkee enthusiasts, but I'm not such a fan. What made it even more perplexing is that the reason why it said it was even playing on my station is because it was recommended by fans of Evanescence. *Uncomfortable pause* So, does this mean that I, a casual Evanescence fan, should be into the lyrical stylings of the original prototype for all fabricated musical acts to follow? *In high-pitched Kelli voice* UHH!

Well, that being said, it seems like the holiday depression is settling in rather nicely. I have no idea why I'm saying that, seeing as I have no real reason to be melancholic. Maybe it's just due to the how late the hour is.

I actually have a fairly good reason to be happy; tomorrow (or in a matter of hours if you like), I'm going to finally get a chance to go to the dentist. Sorry if this doesn't sound like a typical person's idea of a good thing, but seeing as I haven't gone in about a year or so, I'm thoroughly excited. That, and I have a few cavities that need attention before they get serious.

Also, after a long weekend being at one of his fraternity brothers' house, theretofore-still-just-a-pledge Ivan (my brother) came back on Sunday with the news that he's been cut. Apparently because he wouldn't go running a mile out in the 32į cold night. Well, though I am glad that he could now have the time to find a job if he really wanted to, I'm also proud that whether he meant to or not, he took a cue from me basically did a Z-Snap followed by an "Oh Hell NAH!" That is my customary reaction to things that are unbecoming of my oh-so-dainty character.

Anyway, tonight was rather random. Dorian, Steve and I watched some DVDs, Steve brought over his X-Men movies boxed set and I contributed my newly-acquired "Once More, With Feeling" Buffy episode. After that, the two pitched in and we got some late-night donuts at Krispy Kreme (glazed chocolate; the world's most perfect overly-sugared, rounded pastry!). From there, I drove us east along Broadway until we could think of something. It was decided that we should go to the 24-hour W*l-Mart on Speedway and Kolb (cuz it's a totally random and committment-free late-night activity) and to the Fascinations adult novelty shop across the street because, well... that's pretty obvious.

And here I am now. I dropped my partners in crime off, and I sit here doing my usual late-night singular activity; gettin' my internet on.

Lack of variety nonwithstanding, it's a routine that I look forward to.

PS: I SO have to return to the W*l-Mart when I get paid; I saw the most freakin' cute Christmas stockings there! One was a typical traditional design, but the boot part was aqua blue! Then there was this really pretty dark blue one with snowflakes on it! I can't decide on one, so I'm probably going to have to go buy both!

PPS: So, its been brought to my attention by my own self that I seem to write as though I have a rather large audience that salivates upon a new post from me. Well, though I do tend to have delusions of grandeur, I should probably stop making it seem like this is so, because it's really rather disappointing when I don't get a comment on it, despite the work that I put into an entry. Though, there are those out there that do do this, and you know who you are (I WUV YOU!). Anyway, I know I've said this before with different words, but I really should write like I'm doing this for myself, because really, I am. The comments are just a complimentary side. That being said, I should probably go before my sleepiness starts making me have delusions of another sort.

~A (Your sins into me)


{Just when you thought you were SAAF...}
23 November 2003 @ 10:51 PM

BGM: Aino Minako (Ayaka Komatsu) - "C'est la vie" (CD version)
Wanting: same as earlier
Wearing: same as earlier

This weekend was okay. With regards to everything, it couldíve been better but the fact that Iím still alive right now goes to show that it couldíve been worse. Whatever. Not a damn thing happened on Friday or Saturday, but I did have an interesting experience earlier tonight.

Last night I was at Mattís house and we were chatting, drinking coffee and such and such. Anyway, he invites me to this sure-to-be-pretentious charity even that the Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation (SAAF) is holding at the Łber-snooty Hilton El Conquistador Resort way the funk up on north Oracle in Oro Valley. I take him up on it, as a friend and because I knew that probably be a more enjoyable way for me to spend my time than at work.

So I actually managed to get the time off. We meet at about 4:30-ish at Mattís place and we ready ourselves to go. Well, Matt gets ready while I sit down and wait. Unfortunately for me, Matt isnít one that can get ready in five minutes. Itís a really involved thing and one must have a spyís patience as far as he goes.

Once we actually get there, we find that not only are the pretense levels higher than we originally thought, but the apparent dress code seems to be a lot more than the preconceived business casual. It looks more like funeral-formal. This, of course didnít set well with Matt; who had come to the event dressed in jeans, a mid-forearm length jersey-style tee and a short-sleeved button up shirt over it. We stood outside for several minutes, with Matt mulling over whether to go in or not. I tried to aid him in his decision, telling him the pros and cons. But, in the end he decided to say what the hell and we went in.

Inside, the snootiness was suffocatingly high. Matt went and looked around for some people from SAAF so he could schmooze, while I immediately went for the food tables (Free cheese? Iím SO there!). As I was piling my plate with cheese, carrots and crackers (cuz man cannot live on cheese alone), I stopped feeling awkward. Though, there were so many damn people there that claustrophobia couldíve been easily acquired. Matt made it a point to also take a look at all the pseudo-artsy artwork that was contributed by a bunch of rich people that was going to be auctioned off. I didnít really care either way. I like art and all, but Iím not one for art shows, they just donít interest me.

Only a half an hour in (but more than a few cubes a cheese after), Matt decided it was time for us to leave. On the way out, he told me that everybody he knew from SAAF (with the exception of a few people) had given him the cold shoulder. Apparently they didnít give a ratís ass about him. This was very difficult for me to hear, because Matt had already dedicated a few years of volunteering with them as a youth advisor on the board of directors. After tonight, he told me that he is going to quit. I always kinda felt that SAAF as a whole were a bunch of better-than-thous, but I always figured that that was just because I wasnít privy to their inner workings and probably just needed to know what they were all about. I guess my suspicions were right all along.

Afterwards, I took Matt to his managerís house so he could housesit and look after his dogs while heís gone.

That takes me to now. Iíve been listening to some mp3s and watching some PGSM clips. I swear, I love updating on Sundays, I always have a really kawaii Sailor treat awaiting me in the form of an episode summary and show clips. I love Sailormoon!

~A (The part of me that I love)


{30 days hath September}
23 November 2003 @ 9:12 PM

BGM: Third Eye Blind - "How's It Going To Be"
Wanting: sustinance
Wearing: two-tone grey and maroon sweater, dark grey ON cargo pants

This comes courtesy of Steve. According to him, on your birthmonth, you crossout all the things that you don't feel are true about you. This gives me time to write something meaningful, as if it matters anyway.

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.


Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.


Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

{Well, that was easy}


Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their luver can see.


Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.


Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.


Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.


Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.


Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive.Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.


Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.


Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.


Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

~A (Sweet surrender)


{where do i start?}
i am... a dancer and a dreamer, latino, gay, a singer, a poet, an artist, a son, a brother, no one's lover, way too obsessed with sailor moon for my own good, a romantic, temporarily unemployed, and too much more to list here

{emotional me}
The current mood of invernal at

{fly me to the moon}

{reach out and touch me}

{i lurve these people}
rb colorkid
margaret cho
kitty magic

Sailor Luna: Chibi-usa, reenvisioned Sailor Moon: at least this gif has the ponytails hanging properly; BEHIND her Tuxedo Kamen: aka - T3H M45K3D MULL37
Sailor Jupiter: who? Sailor Mercury: once was lost, now a geek Sailor Mars: Venus' girltoy Sailor Venus: Mars' daddy

i was always blue-green cuz we are living in a material world...
ę # Gay Diary ? Ľ
Haruka to Michiru kirei
invited by the new age, i am sailorneptune, acting gracefully
typical genki schoolgirls by day, ass-kicking heroines in color-coded mini-skirts by night!
watch out for that mercury chick, she'll inhale you in one breath
we never change, do we?
can wang
Gone, but not forgotten: 
Buffy the Vampire Slayer 
It was a thing
Searing Idolitray - The Legion of Nerdy Doom Page
I adoped Andrew!