04 April 2003 @ 4:12 PM
Wanting:
Wearing:
~A
.
On a cobweb afternoon
In a room full of emptiness
By a freeway I confess
I was lost in the pages
Of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good we'll lay to rest
Anywhere we want to go[Chorus:]
In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there
Alone...On my deathbed I will pray
To the gods and the angels
Like a pagan to anyone
Who will take me to heaven
To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised
The win was bled
And there you led me on[Chorus]
And on I read
Until the day was gone
And I sat in regret
Of all the things I've done
For all that I've blessed
And all that I've wronged
In dreams until my death
I will wonder on[Chorus]
~A
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~A
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I awoke this morning to find a hideously red spot on the back part of my leg right above the knee area. At first I thought it might be some kind of blemish, but when I tried to pop it, it wouldn't and wound up making it very painful on myself.
I had also meant to awaken early to go back to the clinic to get some bloodwork done (the doctor wants to check for diabetes), but I didn't get up early enough and wound up sleeping in.
At work, I felt so not good and didn't want to be there. I felt tired, I couldn't sit right because of the damned red spot on my leg (which I think is a spider bite) and my throat was feeling stingy in the back (a sign of getting sick). There was a good thing however, because of the slow and deliberate pace that I was taking, I decided to work on a drawing that I was going to send to Alex. As I was drawing I got the attention of Corrina (my Team Manager) and Hoyt (another TM who is so totally cute). They were impressed *blows on his knuckles and rubs them in his chest* and the fact that they chatted with me pepped me up.
I'm still feeling a little down, but I'm sure that things are going to get better. Sooner or later they have to.
~A
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The good news; I had gone to the doctor for my first check-up since like, ever (and my first one alone too!). Despite him concurring with my need to become less of a heiffer, he said I was a pretty healthy dude. That made me happy; I was singing like an idiot the way home.
I had to go into work at a later time because of the appointment, but before then, I took Matt to meet Randix and Ali at Old Towne to witness Ali's first tattoo. I couldn't stay unfortunately, and seeing all of the cool inking that I could get done if I had the money made me feel sad. But I do have an idea what my first tattoo will be, though that's for another time.
Mikey had given me an older computer from the Lounge, but when Matt hooked it up for me (cuz I'm not such a technical genius) and turned it on, it just kept beeping. So I'm going to have to take it to Mikey's house so he can fix it, but the good thing is that he's giving me his modem.
Then Matt and I had decided to go walking that night, and here's where I let loose one of my stupidest not-asked-for opinions. This merits some background info, so I will oblige. Matt met this dude named Zack at Club EON (formerly Club QV) at the beginning of March. They were mutually attracted and started seeing each other. For the first week or so, they seemed to be with each other non-stop. Come Spring Break however (which was sometime in mid-March), no more communication. Poor Matt has been trying to see just why the hell this is so and has not received any returned phone calls, despite his messages. Well, Matt decided that while I needed to sit down and rest for a minute while we walked, that he was going to try and call Zack back. This is where I stupidly chime in and say, "Matt, I think you should just drop it." And quite understandibly so, he did not like that very much. Needless to say, that I single-handedly spoiled my own evening by rubbing Matt the wrong way.
As it turns out, April Fool's - whether intended or not - made me it's bitch and had loads of fun doing so. I however, failed to see the humor.
~A
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~A
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If that weren't bad enough, I just took my car in today for a tune-up and an oil change and they found out that it has a plethora of things bad with it which in total would come out to $400. I just went clothes shopping last night ("Do you love it? I love it. I got it at Ross.") and I plunked down over $100 for mostly new shirts.
I know that a lot of this can be easily allieviated, but there's a sense of comfort that I've built around this and I don't know if I could bring myself about to find something better out there. I know that Linda from Primerica is offering me a good career in getting people out of debt, but with all of the numbers and figures that one has to know, plus the all-hours of the day thing one would have to work, I don't think that that's for me.
I'm really fried on this financial slump. I'm hoping for some sweet salvation because it's obviously not going to end by my own hand so easily.
~A
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Bush is the single worst fad to strike America since the Macarena... or is that country music? Anyway, because of G-Bu (heheh), I've become so much more into politics - not that I really wanted to, but he's setting us back so many years in the progress that we made. I mean, the economy sucks big floppy donkey d*ck (though that's subject to change), the Middle East's opinion of us keeps plunging to new lows everyday and did I mention that Bush is in office? It's like freaking 1992 all over again!PS: He's so full of himself that he doesn't seem to have any room in his head for brains. The whole running into a lamp post and choking on a pretzel thing makes more sense given that into consideration.
~A
.
New entries to the pantheon (courtesy of Randix and Allison):
WNTRBLU - The closest that I can get to showcasing my favorite shade of blue (blue-green, cyan, turqoise or whatever you want to call it) and it fits with my whole Invernal persona and my love of the season.STARFSH or STRFISH - It reflects on me as a Pisces and love of stars. It's also very cute!
BLUSTAR - I *heart* blue!
STARMAN or ASTROMN - My love of astrology. Nuff said.
LUVSTAR - My obsession with love and stars consolidated in one.
SLRNPTN - I really *heart* Sailor Neptune!
~A
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I asked Matt what he thinks and he suggested that whatever I choose, to make it personal, seeing as my tastes are subject to change.
Below are my two top choices:
INVERNL or NVERNAL - Due to space restraints on the plate, I'm limited to seven characters. This is my self-given nickname and a personal choice that I can live with for a year (the length you're allowed to have a plate until you have to renew).COLDPLA, CLDPLAY or COLDPLY - This is my absolute favorite band ever and I would love to honor it by carrying their name around on my car's caboose. The problem is that Coldplay cannot be shortened lest I sacrifice creating confusion to others as to just what the hell my plate says. It almost renders this choice useless. But I would very much still like to use something having to do with them, maybe even a song.
So please, whomever reads this, please send me some suggestions. I think all my likes are clear and if there's something just totally cool that I am for whatever reasons missing, please let me know!
~A
.
Other than that, welcome to Spring Break! *Throws confetti*
So this past weekend was pretty fun, I didn't go out to the bars, but I did get a chance to spend some time with some of my less-frequented friends. Shaunda had a sleepover party at her tiny studio-sized house this Saturday and invited over a nicely-sized armada of people. Aside from me, there was Matt, Fox, Ruben, Steve and Gloria. Okay, so it may not SEEM like too many people, but try to cram seven people into an (at best estimates) 8x8 room full of furniture.
Anyhoo... Ruben brought a light blue nighty and his shoulder-length blonde wig with pink curlers in it. He and Matt also did facials.
We watched movies. It got really boring after a while especially because we were watching them on Shaunda's laptop and the DVD peripheral kept making it all slow and choppy.
After that, we lost Gloria's and Fox's company, they had to go home. While Ruben was giving Fox a ride back to his apartment, the rest of us went walking.
Our travels took us the eerily empty University campus. Spring Break hadn't technically started yet, but there was a whole lot of no one to be found.
We eventually ended up at the fountain in front of Old Main. We decided to do a spiritual Wiccan thing where we summoned some spirits and asked for peace and prosperity. It was so fun, I got to be summoner for the spirit of water! It was all good until Ruben interrupted it by calling Matt, after that we had to bid the spirits a fond journey as we dispelled our circle and went over to meet Ruben.
On the way back we talked about some things. Most of which I cannot mention here, but I'll say that it was a very eye-opening thing to see how others felt about things that only I thought I had.
Anyway, once back in Shaunda's room, we decided that our spiritual engine was already warm, we might as well take it further around the block. We did Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board. We all attempted at levitation except for our Wiccan practitioner Steve. It got really intense, though Ruben kept losing the pace a bit and throwing a few of us off. I think that the furthest I got some one off (the ground) was Matt's head. Myself, unfortunately was pretty unyielding.
And that seemed to be that... Ruben missed his pooch (Hades is his name) and left, and the rest of us went to sleep.
That was all the good stuff for that. Sorry about the rush, but I have only an hour to get my arse ready to get to work.
Happy St. Patty's Day, remember your green!
~A
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Matt and I had gone out. No one else seemed to care that it was my special day and I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. We had decided to make it a quiet night out and went to the park for one of our usual walks at Reid Park. One thing that I didn't notice throughout the entire day/night was Matt's cell phone getting some heavy use. He had kept saying that his mom and Zack kept calling him or that he had to call them. Little did I know that he was really coordinating with Fox, Ruben, Shaunda and everyone else about their grand scheme involving me.
Well, I had wanted to go to my grandma's house because no one else seemed to care for my birthday and that I'd get some nice well-wishes from the family so I diverted from our route, much to Matt's discomfort. Unfortunately for me, there was no one home but my Uncle Adrian. He kept me for about half an hour talking about random stuff and when he found out it was my 21st birthday, he sent me to buy him a beer. So I went to the corner store that I had gone to since I was very young and bought two iced teas (one for me, one for my homie Matt) and a 24 oz. can of Bud Light for my uncle. Well, when I go to the register to get rung up, the guy would seriously not let me buy it. It's beyond me as to what the hell his reasoning was, but he would not sell me the beer. I started to argue that the driver's license said "Under 21 until 3/13/03," which was the day's date. He still didn't buy it. Matt and the fact that there were some more guys coming in stopped me from persuing it further and left feeling defeated and a bit embarrassed. After that, I went back to the house and told my uncle while Matt stayed outside and made some more calls to Ruben, et al. From there we finally went to park, I still feeling lousy.
When we arrived, I told Matt that if he didn't mind that I was going to vent a bit on how my birthdays are always a little depressing for me. So I rambled off the reasons why I felt so bummed out (most of which are things that I write about in here anyway). Matt, being the sweetheart that he is, was comforting, even to the point of me getting all teary-eyed. If I hadn't wanted to make the situation (any more) awkward, I probably would've let loose and broke down right then. But no, we continued our slow and deliberate pace. We passed by this parking pullout with a white minivan, at which point Matt then unbeknownst to me, slowed down. I heard the van door slide open and heard some running footsteps. It was then that I stopped walking and turned back and saw three figures in masks approach me. A split-second before I had realized that they were coming after me. They bound my hands, blindfolded me and secured it on with some masking tape. As they were doing it, I managed to gather my thoughts and realized what was going on. See, we had done a similar thing for Adam, whose birthday was back in February. We had taken him out to the cemetary way the funk out on the eastside that we so love to frequent. For me however, the trip was considerably shorter, but probably just as torturous as Adam's; Ruben had the radio to a country station (one of the squillions we have here) and I had to listen to some twangy "We're-Americans-and-we'll-shove-a-boot-up-yer-ass" song. It was totally heinous.
Our destination was considerably close by, so I had ruled out the cemetary and Mt. Lemmon out. I heard traffic and some people talking/walking so I thought that I was taken to 4th Ave. and was probably going to be forced into IBT's. But after being led in and sat down at some random place with a seat, Ruben reached over and put tokens in a slot next to me and pulled off my blindfold. The sight I held before me was of a woman sucking this black guy's huge um, you know. I was totally shocked. I kept hitting the movie change button and kept coming upon a bunch of lesbian porn. Everyone else outside was having a hoot at my discomfort. I finally hit a gay movie and then stepped out. It was then that I met face-to-face with my kidnappers; Fox, Ruben, Shaunda, Marc, Daniel (not my Daniel, Marc's), Gloria and Ruben's current flavor of the week Julio. I don't know if everybody thought I'd be upset, but I certainly wasn't. I gave everyone a hug because they cared enough to remember and go out of their way to do something for me. Whether they did it out of true care for me or just because they were bored and had nothing better to do is unclear to me, but I don't care, it was still a damn good gesture towards me.
Afterwards, we went back to the park and had cake and chips. We talked. The bio-females discussed politics while the bois went over to the swings. We also ended up making plans to take a day trip to Puerto Pe�asco (Rocky Point) this Thursday.
All in all, it was one of the best birthdays I've had, certainly the best one that I can think of off the top of my head at this moment.
Now I can't wait to go to the bars with all of my of-age friends.
~A
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{emotional me}
{fly me to the moon}
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